So Newcastle score three goals in the opening 30 minutes away from home against a side which we’ve had trouble with since Sir Bobby Robson left, and ease to the top of the table with relative ease. All this, with key players out. Who could complain, eh…

Welcome to a new series of How To Score Past Newcastle. Now, yes, there’s no real need for negativity right now, and some of you may even complain, but believe me, this season [like every other] will have violent ups and downs. These will allow you to focus your rage for when Birmingham beat us 5-1 on national TV, someone drops a clanger in defence or we go crashing out of a cup.

This year, there will be monthly articles assigning and tallying the blame of the goals Newcastle United concede to the Newcastle player who is subjectively felt to be predominantly responsible for the goal - even if their role in conceding is only negligibly larger than someone else’s. Last year, bar a select few decisions, there were little arguments on who was blamed, and the front-runners at the top [or bottom, rather] of How To Score Past Newcastle generally seemed to correlate with the concensus of the worst defenders at the club.


Game 1: Bolton Wanderers (a)

Goal 1: Nicolas Anelka (Bolton Wanderers)

Blame: Stephen Carr

Reason: Last year’s champ hits the grounding running in this year’s race [though not very fast, obviously] and, for the second year in succession, assumes the role of pacesetter from the get go. In fairness, the goal was a well executed and slick break from Bolton, but it was preventable. Geremi was muscled out a touch easily, perhaps Big Sam even chose the wrong people to stay back for set pieces, but Carr’s positioning was just woeful. Sitting so deep with no chance of playing Anelka offside, he invited Anelka to run at him. I’m pretty he sure he was aware of their respective running speeds. If he wasn’t, he is now.


BLAME COUNT - Season 07/08

Responsible For 1 Goal Conceded

Stepher Carr