Word is spreading like wildfire that the mini-maestro Deco (Eduard Gonazales Etudendiates Vasco de Gama Suarez Soduku) is heading for the toon for a medical this week. Phones have been ‘off da hook’ reagarding these developments and leading officiando sites are carrying the story. There is no smoke without fire they say and we all wait with baited breadth for fruther developments. As they say in Spain: “Primero fue Gudjohnsen, después Edmilson pese a estar lesionado, y ahora le ha tocado el turno a Deco.” Roughly translated in my Cerveza ordering Spanish that means that Earth God Ashley and his cohorts have reavealed their interest for these players of proven quality and although Deco is currently the talk of the toon, I wouldn’t discount the appearance of the Nordic warrrior Gudjohnsen either with Edmilson injury worries deferring any agreement till Janurary.

Shorey still hasn’t signed a new deal which has been on offer by our reckoning for three weeks now, rekindling links again with Newcastle who it is clear now wll not sign Baines (size does matter), and on this subject there is still talk of £5m on the table for a Chelsea left back. Meanwhile Beye, Wes Brown and Luke Young still remain viable deals in the squad strengthening crusade that Big Sam is on.

On sadder matters Anelka has confirmed he will be staying with Bolton for at least another season with moves to the Toon, Arsenal and Juve not being to his ultimate satisfaction and the availability of Martins to two of the mentioned clubs confusing the issue. On the striking front the deal of the summer has to be Torres to Liverpool, which might be a huge miscalculation for Benny Bennitez of Top Cat fame….Where will the excuses come from now Rafa my dear?

Lastly and with respect to the board invasions from Lancastrians wouldn’t it be rather jolly if we stole Bentley from under your noses?

Keep singing in the rain.

Parkenstien.