Thanks to the Newcastle-Online website and their new layout there’s quite a bit of feedback coming back my way on the comments I make in these articles. So this time I took a more in-depth look at the game, taking notes, replaying, rewinding, rechecking.

And I have to say that it’s made no difference at all to my general opinion of our lot, as a team or as individuals. It just goes to show what a subjective issue these reviews really are.

I’ve commented recently that we seemed to have adopted this habit of passing the ball in tight little triangles and then doing nothing with it.

Where are the little triangles when you need them?

In general, first touches and passes were pretty poor throughout the team, the marking wasn’t tight enough, and we just didn’t deserve to take any points. I could leave it at that.

On to the match.

Harper - 6

You can’t criticise the bloke because he’s done nothing wrong. Had a good double save from Weber, who was subsequently ruled offside. Harper did everything that was asked of him, with the exception of the goal. Nothing fantastic with no blunders. Therefore average.

It is a sad statistic that we haven’t won a game since Given pulled a sickie, but in truth Harper has played extremely well and can’t be held at all responsible.

Carr - 7

I’ve been accused of going easy on Carr so I took a good look at everything he did. Every touch of the ball, every tackle and every pass, weighing up the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

From what I saw he had a reasonable game.

More good than bad, with, in fact, very little bad at all.

Got forward well, popping up in some interesting positions. He had one crack at goal that maybe should have been a pass across the box, but judging by the look on his face afterwards and the comments from his team mates, he figured that out.

The whole defence deserves a serious bollocking for the goal but I’ll leave that for later.

I was tempted to give Carr my Man Of The Match, but thought better of it.

Bramble - 5

Titus is another player I get stick about, with some of you saying that I’m too hard on him.

Well guess what - he deserves it.

Caught in 2 minds after 11 minutes when a ball was lobbed into the box. Could have been underneath it and cleared it easily, but instead was caught drifting out following his mark. Changed his mind at the last minute and went for the ball, Brambling it, as was to be expected. He was rescued by team mates.

10 minutes later while taking the ball out of defence he tried to be smart with a casual pass across the back to Carr – he didn’t see the Sheffield forward sneaking up behind him, and fortunately for us it went between his legs. Could have been another disaster in the making.

Add another dodgy clearance that bounced back off Gillespie’s chest for a goal kick and Titus isn’t getting Man Of The Match either. He’s still doing the old “hands up and stop” for offside. Another one we got away with.

3 things on the plus side

1 He hustled well
2 He is capable of some superb long passes up the park
3 The pitch looked in good shape.

Babayarro - 5

Got forward a lot and forgot to come back. Was initially responsible for our first scare of the game when he lost possession in midfield in the 3rd minute and had no cover.

Baba only seems to be able to head the ball if he’s on the ground. Seems like he’d have difficulty jumping a queue. I think it’s a judgement thing. This was beautifully demonstrated when he jumped up behind Hulse who just stayed on the ground and still beat Baba to the ball. Baba ended up 3 feet above the ball when Hulse headed it.

I can only assume Baba was going to distract Hulse by sticking his dick in his ear. That would explain him grabbing Hulse by the chin and trying to turn his head.

His biggest problem remains that he gets caught out of position too much.

Moore - 6

I’ve said before that I like Moore - I like his brain. He knows when he’s beaten and tries to do something about it – not the out and out hack – something more subtle.

Twice he body checked Hulse, knowing that he’s is too quick for him. Nothing nasty, just a block both times.

OK, the first one could have been considered off the ball (by 50 yards) but there was obviously a bit of banter going on that warranted sorting out.

Getting away with it is the secret, it was right in front of Bennett and Moore stayed on. Moore can be a bit of a donkey at times but he’s clever, and that’s what we need at the back.

On the actual footballing side and in Moore’s defence, in the second half he made up the ground when Quinn pushed through and everyone else had stopped, and managed to run some last minute interference to prevent him getting his shot off properly. A good effort.

If you think I’m letting him off lightly check my comment at the end about the goal.

Milner - 6

Played all over the park making tackles in defence as well as tearing up the wing.

Was guilty of a few bad passes but on the day which one of them wasn’t?

I can’t understand how he got the sponsor’s Man Of The Match, unless Aston Villa were the sponsor.

NZogbia - 7

Had a good first half and I just can’t understand why he was taken off at half time. Caused as many problems as anyone else out there and wasn’t afraid to have a shot now and again.

Put in some solid tackles and was my Man Of The Match (Of The Half?).

Butt - 6

Another one I’ve been criticised about, so again, took a good look at what he did.

And what a waste of time that was.

Butt managed a couple of good tackles and a few passes but there was nothing there to justify anything other than average. Not particularly impressed.

I don’t think he comes anywhere near the normal Parker or Emre for work rate and effect.

Parker - 6

Had a below par game for him, which puts him average or above for the rest of them.

Did the usual running around, passing, tackling and stuff, but lost interest towards the end.

Reminiscent of his days not so much with Chelsea, more with Glandular Fever. He was so bad I’m giving him the same mark as Butt.

Duff - 6

Had a few good ideas but nowhere near enough. I think our wingers try too much down the outside and need to come inside a bit more, and they need to make it a bit more transparent.

He’s still playing out of position on the right. He’s out there trying to go outside everyone then gets to the flag – oops, wrong foot.

Lost it a bit towards the end - as did a few of the players.

Rossi - 7

Remember that Rossi is only 19 years old.

When Charlie the Zog was first out there at 19 it took him a while to settle in. There’s no-one else in the team can make space like Rossi does, and he has a turning circle of a unicycle.

The best thing about him at this point is that he brings enthusiasm to the team. And of course, not to mention, a bit of talent.

Emre (sub for Butt) -6

Got the impression that he was trying too hard and when he does that he tends to run into trouble instead of passing the ball. Thinks he can do it all by himself. A few good touches cancelled out by a couple of terrible passes.

Solano (sub for N’Zogbia) - 5

Usually Nobby is either up to his neck in the action or watching it while sitting on a nearby fence. He had the odd good pass but as happens a lot with him he just didn’t get into the game.

Luque (sub for Milner) - 6

Old Al is looking more of a player these days, tackling, heading and challenging. But he still doesn’t look anywhere near what we need – unless we can adapt and play around him.

Everyone says these big money foreigners should adapt to us, but if you’ve paid 10 million for a goal machine you have to set up the game so he can score goals the way he likes to. When Shearer arrived everything was tuned to him and we all know
what he did.

Roeder – 5

When you’re the manager and your team doesn’t play well and loses to Sheffield United you can’t expect to get good reviews.

Playing Duff out of position to suit Rossi seems a bit “tail wagging the donkey” as my mate used to say.

I’ve been a critic of Roeder’s substitution philosophy in the past and that’s not going to change in the immediate future.

I thought that N’Zogbia was the only one getting anywhere and would have left him on a bit longer, but nice to see Glenn being a bit more proactive and making changes.

We are still extremely one dimensional with our tactics. We need a more adventurous influence on the training ground – someone with experience and new ideas. If a “Director Of Football” will do it then lets get on with it, Fred. We (that’s you lot!) need to see some progress.

A bit of free advice though - experience in the Premiership would be preferred.

To finish off I thought Fred made a wonderful statement, when he got back into the country the other day, when he said, with reference to him not resigning, “No-one else would take this job at the moment ”.

Why’s that then Fred?

With a 12 million pound loss posted over 11 months, 8 points, equal bottom, a squad that’s thinner than a particularly thin runway model and National Express fully booked through new year shipping our top stars out to their new clubs, what makes you think no-one else would take the job, Fred?

And just out of interest, who do you think is responsible, Fred?

I think it’s worth mentioning Sheffield’s defender Kozluk. Nothing to say about his game, I just wanted to mention him. We need to sign him – with a name like that he has to play for a Northern team.

Get him lined up with Aye-man, Haddaway and Ballack and we’ll have the commentators speaking Geordie in no time.

In summary Sheffield were all over us like a crap on a nappy. They were quick in when we got the ball and they closed us down. When they had the ball we stood off them too much and gave them too much time.

We didn’t provide service for our front men and as a result chances on goal were limited.

It says something when our best attempt on goal looked like a miss hit cross from Nazagogbiya.

It really did look as if we were all tired from the midweek game – even if half of the team didn’t play midweek. It was interesting to read that the Board opted for the 350K for the televised Saturday evening match rather than put the game back 24 hours.

I’m no business genius but I think it’s fair to assume that the lost points from yesterday’s “easy” match will cost us more than that in the long run. Even if three points just mean we finish one position higher up at the end of the season – that’s half a million.

I saved the best to last.

The Goal

This was a farce of mammoth proportions.

Emre got caught out of position trying to second guess Montgomery and as a result was left stranded.

Babayarro tried to move inside to cover Montgomery leaving his winger free – a passing option that wasn’t taken but would have opened us up just as much.

Bramble wandered off to try to get into Montgomery’s line to goal, and as a result lost Hulse.

Moore was dragged out of position trying to cover the loose Hulse and didn’t quite get there, ending up in no man’s land between Hulse and Weber.

Moore had lost Weber so Carr almost thought about moving in to cover - leaving his man coming in at the back post – another option that would have finished us off anyway. Carr was too far away from the action and we all know that he’s not the best at
playing “catch-up”. Something to do with a disease he appears to have contracted known as “not-giving-a-crap-it is”, I think.

The goal, and the build up to it, was what could best be described as a team effort.

They could have taken four or five routes to goal and we wouldn’t have stopped them.

It started from Emre trying to cut out a pass that didn’t happen and just snowballed from there.

Was Bramble at fault for losing Hulse?

Was Moore at fault for trying to cover Hulse and consequently losing Weber?

Was Carr at fault for still being in the carpark and not covering anyone?

Was Harper at fault for not having bigger gloves?

Question – Why The Yellow Ball?

OK, so the clocks have gone back and it gets darker earlier – but if it’s OK to play midweek matches in the dark with a white ball during the summer….?

Nice to hear the Toon Army drowning out the “Sack The Board” chants with shouts of “NEWCASSELL”. That would suggest that there are significantly more fans thinking about the Team than about the Management.

There’s a time and a place, and possibly ten minutes before the final whistle when you’re 1-0 down isn’t quite it.

Newcastle United can and will break records, I just hope none of the records end with the words “…. in the Championship League”

I mentioned last week that N’Zogbia is referred to on our local Arabic channels as Nazagogbiya. I think I forgot to mention that Sibierski is Sea Biscuit. It makes viewing “interesting”.

Archie Brand
Frustrated In Bahrain