Just how foolish to assume that this dainty chain of compositions could be afforded an extended vacation with an insignificant ten minutes remaining in a home game against one of the worst travellers in the league.

Glenn Roeder was confronted with a fairly straight-forward decision when he took up the reins at Newcastle. Did he want the newfangled Newcastle outfit to attack mercilessly as legends Keegan and Robson had opted to do, or did he wish to emulate Souness’ policy of attempting to win games 1-0, working methodically in an intrinsically prosaic fashion in what is, at heart, the antithesis of Newcastle United football.

Night follows day. What goes up, comes down. Alan Shearer scores goals. Tim Cahill cheats. Newcastle are entirely incapable of inviting pressure upon themselves successfully.

So what happens when a nifty goal sends Newcastle 1-0 up in the 54th minute?

Did Roeder believe our batch of players had miraculously coalesced into a granite defence on the pitch? Surely, at the very least, Roeder knew that Ramage and Carr were our full-backs, and would be continually humiliated for as long as it took for Fulham to make Newcastle fans’ heads droop slightly lower than necessary. Indeed, was there ever a more inopportune time to bring off Parker, our best defensive midfielder? It’s almost enough to make you scream absurdities, yelling that Fulham’s inside man was our own manager and that corruption in football is at an all-consuming zenith.

The vim of a new season was promptly disgorged from St James’ amid a chorus of boos that serenaded the final whistle, snatching the possibility of fresh beginnings with it.

Rule 1: Each goal shall be considered on their own merit.

Game 3: Fulham (h)
Goal 4: Brian McBride
Blame: Peter Ramage
Reason: Slipped at a crucial moment. He might as well not have not done, as they would have had a good 30 seconds to pick out a player in the box if they so pleased, irrespective of his level exerted of resistance, which is virtually negligible at best.

Game 3: Fulham (h)
Goal 5: Carlos Bocanegra
Blame: Titus Bramble
Reason: Ball-watching, completely lost his marker for the corner kick which was needlessly handed to Fulham by an increasingly infuriating Ramage.

BLAME COUNT - Season 06/07

Responsible For 1 Conceded Goal
Stephen Carr
Scott Parker
Celestine Babayaro
Peter Ramage
Titus Bramble