How To Score Past Newcastle: Parts 19 to 28 [Unabridged]
By A.K. Dholakia On Mon 5 Mar 2007 |
Saturday’s goalless draw with the Smogmonsters saw Newcastle muster their first Premiership clean sheet in a ridiculously long stretch. What perhaps should have been a break from these articles, however, has instead become the mammoth of all catch-up articles - owing to the correction of long-standing technical difficulties behind our wafer-thin scenes, here at N-O. Alas, everyone can, once more, find out… how to score past Newcastle.
Before crosshairs are recklessly strewn upon the back of our toon players, it must be reiterated that these articles are very much a subjective endeavour that do not consider the extenuating circumstances that are inherent to pretty much each individual football match. They are not comprehensive defensive dossiers; they seek only to assign blame for mistakes or inferiority that lead to goals. With that said, in the past, in the media certainly, it has been far too easy to pin the blame of concession exclusively to goalkeepers and central defenders simply because of their proximity to the goal, and the onus of culpability has too lazily fallen upon their over-burdened shoulders! Whole teams defend together, not just the back four, and that’s something worth keeping in mind, I feel. Onwards!
Game 19: Tottenham Hotspur (h)
Goal 21: Danny Murphy
Blame: Steven Taylor
Reason: Ramage did well to stay tight to his man, even when he attempted a rather dangerous over-head kick. Taylor however gave Murphy far too much space, and Murphy’s awry, but horizontal shot took a hefty deflection off Taylor’s noggin to prove this.
Game 20: Bolton (a)
Goal 22: Peter Ramage [o.g]
Blame: Peter Ramage
Reason: Yes, he was given one hell of a dirty nudge in the back by Nolan, but in a situation in front of the goal where confusion reigns supreme, the responsibility falls on the player who can reach the ball first to remove danger as a priority - not shepherd the ball to a slow understanding.
Game 20: Bolton (a)
Goal 23: Nicholas Anelka
Blame: Peter Ramage
Reason: The lad was horrendously flat-footed in reaching the flick-on before Diouf, and a more commanding presence just would not have been shrugged off so effortlessly.
Game 21: Everton (a)
Goal 24: Victor Anichebe
Blame: Paul Huntington
Reason: His feet looked heavy and inexperienced when he failed to clear. Just didn’t have the authority he needed, and Anichebe poached an easy goal.
Game 21: Everton (a)
Goal 25: Victor Anichebe
Blame: Nicky Butt
Reason: Out-muscled on the initial header, and though the save was more than could be expected, Anichebe was there for the finish.
Game 21: Everton (a)
Goal 26: Phil Neville
Blame: Shay Given
Reason: Deflected though it was, Given normally never has soft-hands.
Game 22: Manchester United (h)
Goal 27: Paul Scholes
Blame: Scott Parker
Reason: It seems very, very familiar, doesn’t it? Scholes drew in the headstrong Parker, who proceeded to fly at him, all guns blazing, only for Scholes to neatly pass the ball around him and find himself in a pocket of space just in front of our box. We all know what Scholes does from there.
Game 22: Manchester United (h)
Goal 28: Paul Scholes
Blame: Scott Parker
Reason: It would almost be funny if it wasn’t Newcastle he tormented. Parker was fooled again, this time rushing at the triple-marked Ronaldo as the ball slid in the opposite direction. Scholes, unopposed, rifled it through a throng of lost Newcastle bodies.
Game 23: Tottenham Hotspur (a)
Goal 29: Jermaine Defoe
Blame: Nolberto Solano
Reason: Nobby’s positioning was just way, way off.
Game 23: Tottenham Hotspur (a)
Goal 30: Dimitar Berbatov
Blame: Matthew Pattison
Reason: Ramage response to Solano’s exceptional block was slow, but Pattison getting skinned vitiated consent, really.
Game 24: West Ham (h)
Goal 31: Carlton Cole
Blame: Peter Ramage
Reason: His eyes followed the rainbow-flighted path of the assisting header, as his marker continued to run onto the assist. It was quite beautiful in its way.
Game 24: West Ham (h)
Goal 32: Marlon Harewood
Blame: Peter Ramage
Reason: Harewood shrugged off Ramage as he would a pesky annoyance, in a real man against boy situation.
Game 25: Aston Villa (h)
Goal 33: Ashley Young
Blame: Damien Duff
Reason: His jump on the near post was lackadaisical at best, as it skimmed off the top of his head into the danger area.
Game 26: Fulham (a)
Goal 34: Heidar Helguson
Blame: Nicky Butt
Reason: A very clear-cut case. Butt’s awful back-pass was the perfectly weighted through-ball for Helguson to apply an admittedly impressive finish.
Game 26: Fulham (a)
Goal 35: Brian McBride
Blame: Stephen Carr
Reason: I don’t know how to put this kindly, but if he and Papa Diop were in prison together…
Game 27: Liverpool (h)
Goal 36: Craig Bellamy
Blame: Steve Harper
Reason: His poor clearance was capitalized on by Pennant who cut the ball back for an easy tap-in from Mr Bellamy.
Game 28: Wigan (a)
Goal 37: Ryan Taylor
Blame: Shay Given
Reason: It was a magical cracker of a freekick. There’s not much anyone could have done about it. Virtually no one. As ever, it’s a credit to how many points he saves us a game [much less a season!] that I would even dare to criticize him for this. For most other keepers, it was unstoppable.
BLAME COUNT - Season 06/07
Responsible For 6 Goals Conceded
Peter Ramage
Responsible For 5 Goals Conceded
Stephen Carr
Responsible For 4 Goals Conceded
Celestine Babayaro
Nicky Butt
Scott Parker
Responsible For 3 Goals Conceded
Steven Taylor
Shay Given
Responsible For 2 Goals Conceded
Nolberto Solano
Steve Harper
Responsible For 1 Goal Conceded
Titus Bramble
Craig Moore
Paul Huntington
Matthew Pattison
Damien Duff
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I dont see the harm in the article, and cannot understand why reads on here suggest the moral of a player could be affected by it! I mean.. really! Do you think they are bothered? Come friday “pay day” they’ll have forgotten eveything you’ll have said. It’ll have been patced up with 100 dollar bills!
As a fan I dont demand entertainment like from the Keegan era.. It would be daft as football has moved on a lot since then. But what I do demand is a player that is 100% COMMITTED AND PASSIONATE for the club.
And as for OUR PLAYERS, OUR PLAYERS, OUR PLAYERS speach. You didn’t pick or buy them! I know I didn’t so how the hell are they our players? They are property of the club that have managed to get extremely high amounts of money with little commitment!
From the list, even though i’ve read it I dont pecticually asign any blame of goals conceded, well the majority of them. Football it a simple game that requires little thinking.
It would be interesting to find out how much each player has on the ball, or interacting with play.
Say:
midfielder = 5-8 minutes?
Defender = 3-5 minutes?
striker = 3 ?
On 40-50k a week. If a player cannot in those few minutes maintain a decent level of football then what the hell is he doing in a black and white shirt?
Sent in on: March 10th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
excellent article.
theres alot of people moaning about it, if you dont like it dont read it. i personally enjoy the article and find it very interesting
the fact that stephen carr is in second place and has barely dragged his fat lazy arse on a pitch this season says it all!!
Sent in on: March 7th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
I think a chill pill is needed: this seems pretty tongue-in-cheek to me.
Sent in on: March 6th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
I think that our central defenders (especially Bramble) get an unfair amount of stick in the press when they get put under intense pressure by the inability of our fullbacks and midfield to help out at the back. This series of articles will hopefully get a few people to think twice before heeping abuse on our centre backs.
Mich - we dont demand perfection, we’d be happy if the players put in a decent determined committed display. All too often this season our performances have been devoid of effort, invention and commitment. When the likes of Edgar, Hunty made a mistake and pegged it back to try and make up we understood, when Carr, Luque, etc fucks up shrugs and starts plodding back - then we get upset.
The one thing I would say it is possible to concede a goal and not blame an individual, its either an unstoppable goal or a couple of players screw up
Sent in on: March 6th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Good article & welcome back to the ‘how to score’ series.
Unlike the readers that have already commented (all being very negative themselves) I see this as purely a good ‘out of interest’ type article. I don’t see any posh vocabulary or anything aimed at getting on players backs. In fact I wonder if people even got to the end before passing judgement.
To A.K. Dholakia, I say please keep writing this.
To anyone who wants to be negative about other peoples efforts, please don’t bother. You may not agree with the authors opinions, in which case it’s always a good idea to put your own ideas forward… but to just criticize is a waste of every ones time.
Sent in on: March 6th, 2007 at 10:46 am
That is very hypecritical, considering that at the beginning of your article you criticise the press for continuously blaming/singling out defenders for goals conceded, and here you are singling out the players at fault for our goals conceded, barring duffer and matty p all of them defensively minded players.
Now either I cant understand what you are on about because of the largely uneeded posh vocabulary to try and disguise a largely uneeded article, or you are being very hypecritical and unfair towards our players.
Also Rich has a fucking good point, you try and play infront of 52,000 fans who are demanding 100% perfection week in week out. And knowing that if you make a mistake you are going to be singled out in the press and by others such as yourself for making a mistake or two.
Sent in on: March 5th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
What is the point in trying to assign blame to individual players for goals conceded?
Here’s some shock news : most goals conceded are because of defensive mistakes!
Football is not such a simple game that you can assign complete blame for losses on individual players. There are many factors that come into play, including players form, what the manager has told them to focus on, missing players, etc…..
I think newcastle-online would be a better site without these negative overly whiney posts on the front page. Defensive mistakes are a job for the coaches, lets leave it to them.
Sent in on: March 5th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Ain’t you supposed to be getting behind the players, instead of keep judging them all the time. No one is perfect and this certainly doesn’t help the players’ confidence seeing this on here, and it’s easy for you to write all this shit on here but you’re the one that ain’t playing are you!
Sent in on: March 5th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Hi, Just thougth id throw my two penneth worth into to your argument. Although on the face of it, it may seem possible to aportion individual blame for goals and in soem unique cases possible too, in most of the goals scored against the Toon this season there has been one constant factor. Poor decission making and lack of cohesion within the team. The example I’ll give is of Keegans heros in the 90’s where the whole team attacked and played flowing football. This had its draw back that we conceded alot but all the players knew what was expected of them. In this team and since the lunatic Gullit Newcastle play with some good individual tallent but little else. Therefore, as a culmination to my rant, every goal conceded should be accepted by every member of the team. And every boo by the crowd understood as such.
So start plaing like a team Howay the lads…
Sent in on: March 5th, 2007 at 4:52 pm