While most people are losing their sleep over the color of Owen’s bed sheets, Allardyce seems to be already well on his way rebuilding the black & white defence. That’s if you believe what the papers say.

Tal Ben Haim is a name constantly popping up when you fight your way past the Page 3 girls to the football sections. Saturday’s The Sun reported that the Israeli defender is all set to follow Allardyce to St James’ Park within the next fortnight after turning down Bolton’s new contract offer. Believe it or not, Tuesday’s The Independent didn’t agree. Their information is that Ben Haim is Chelsea bound with West Ham and Portsmouth hot on their heels.

Speaking of Portsmouth, the rumour has it that the circus will be arriving to the south coast before the start of the season. That’s right, they’re licking their fingers at the prospect of pairing Titus Bramble with Sol Campbell. Although they also continue to be linked with another ex-Newcastle free transfer, Sylvain Distin. With all those centre halves arriving at Pompey I’m sure they wouldn’t notice it if by the start of the new campaign one was missing. Campbell to the Toon, you heard it here first. Well not quite but I just like saying that. Makes me feel important and all that.

Something almost as important is the task Sam is facing rebuilding the much ridiculed defence. Monday’s Manchester Evening News made most of the Newcastle support smile when they announced that Wigan left back Leighton Baines was high on Allardyce’s list of targets. What a great way to start a week you say. I agree, but The Daily Mail had more to come: Sami Hyypiä is on his way also. The 33-year old Finland international might not push Oba Martins to his limits on 100m sprint but would certanly do a job at the Newcastle backline. I don’t think I’d be exactly crying if by the first match of the season our back four would have either Campbell or Hyypiä partnering Taylor with Baines and Nobby working the fullback spots.

In our eagerly anticipated next review we’ll be going deeper than any man has ever gone before to find out what on earth is really going on with the Newcastle United strikers. Who is Martins hiding from? Did Owen really buy brand new Arsenal bed sheets? And who’s that big dark skinned guy with a ridiculous running style?