Newcastle-Online Forum

Just wondering if anyone has any particular pet hates about football? Not major things such as diving/refereeing inconsistancy/steve carr but little things? Mine are yellow footballs, music being played after goals, international teams with random numbers on their shirts (Aaron Hughes is number 18 and he started tonight!) and those bloody animated advertising boards!! anyone else got anything?

Black goalkeeper gloves, don't really hate them but just don't think they look right!

[/racist]

Players playing with gloves

Cheerleaders

Music after goals

Steve Bruce's nose

That bloke that runs up the line when Bolton score with a flag

Short sleeve shirts and gloves. Long sleeve I can understand.

dur dur dur durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dur dur durrrrrrrrrr durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i saw a game once, think it was on channel 5 where they had bright pink animated advertising boards round the entire pitch!now that was annoying!

Aye that is bloody annoying, I think there's two of them actually, mind you free season ticket?

the cameras zooming in on the player's arse when they go down.

The Carling Cup.

Oh yeah, forgot that tosser with the bell at Pompey

All gamesmanship in general of course but the one that really gets me going is goalkeepers who take goal kicks from the "other" side to waste time - especially when the ball has already been placed by a desperate forward. Can remember playing Middlesboro on the last day a few years back for a place in europe - Schwarzer was doing it from the start. t***.

the predictable 'whatta goal' by footie commentators. Can they not think of something more imaginative ffs

Women who go to games and obviously cant be arsed with them despite chucking £400+ down the shitter when it could be better spent on a shopping trip to the metro centre or eldon square

Wins. The f****** epitomy of small-time.

Those yellow balls are really starting to annoy me. No need whatsoever.

Animated ad boards is one of mine too. Horrible.

Also, Black goal nets. Can hardly see that them ripple when the ball goes in. Chelsea and Arsenal stupidly had them (Chelsea still do in CL). Ours are half and half, which annoys me slightly.

Teams who change the home kit every single year.

Never being able to get a football bet up in my life is really starting to rub me up the wrong way. :@

newcastle 90% of the time choosing an away shirt that clashes with the home shirt!

Newcastle 99% of the time designing s*** away shirts

Dancing goal celebrations: see Lita's for the England U21s tonight.

Also thought of team kits that all have the same style by the same make and mark lawrenson's commentating

Newcastle 99.9% of the time having a decent third shirt, and never wearing it! (apart from in europe this year)

ANDY f****** GRAY!

Added time multi balls...oh wait...

Thierry Henry's dancing celebration!

Our young guns celebration from a few years ago. Cringe tastic

When the camera zoom in on the bench/manager/crowd for what seems like forever during an active period in the game then it goes back to the match and there is a corner or goal kick or something and you think "wtf happened!". Same with needless/endless replays!

Europe away games seem to be the worst with the dodgy broadcasters.

Just shitty European games full stop ie Tallinn, Ventspills, Breda, Bnei Shaknin etc....

best pundit/analyst there is tbh.

Yes, perhaps it's just about acceptable from young players... but a grown man...

i cannot stand him, i used to think he was ok but i get the impression he just thinks hes the absolute man now. He talks a lot of sense when he's not commentating on games but fucks me off royally when hes commentating.

I am glad someone mentioned it "

f****** annoying..

Also,time wasting (unless its Nufc and we are winning)

yeah.. he gets carried away a lot.. still rather entertaining

THIS!!!

Pompy tosser with the bell.

White Hart Lane having support beams right in front of the TV cameras.

Manu arse kissing.

Liverpool singing won it 5 times

John Motson

Lawro

Stephen Carr

Celery Babayaro

The screaming bitch at Highbury whenever the oppo went near the Arsenal goal. thank fuk for the stadium move.

4-5-1 defensive at home. (Bolton, Everton, other teams and managers with lack of talent and imagination)

Celtic, Rangers & the whole religion thing, gay tbh.

Matt Le Tissier doing our matches on Gillette soccer Saturday when he clearly loves to see us beat and almost cries when we score. c***.

The whole Arsenal team all individually hugging each other before a match.

:lol:

I thought that was only in David Seaman's days..

Hated that,was hoping other teams score just so she can shut the f*** up

Speaking of Arsenal,I also hate how Wenger pretends that they are a "fair play team" when the fact is they are one of the dirtiest teams in the EPL

The media jizz-fest over 'Big' Sam (wonderful job, great bloke, salt of the earth yada yada blurgh) and Del Boy Redknapp makes my skin crawl.

Aye, while were on Arsenal:

Toure takes out the attacker with a challenge straight from prison while Lehmann stomps in and fly kicks the poor attacker in the head causing a fatality, wenger on the situation.

"I deed not see that inceedent, i will have to check ze reeplays"

Fuk off  :lol:

But when Van Persie dives in the box at the other end, with 6 bodies in the way and no opposing player within two miles as whole thing being over in split second the fuking c*** can see then cant he.  :rolleyes:

"Yes, eet waas a penalty"

Double fuk off  >:D

Also older fans who think their opinion is right as they have been around longer, never giving change a chance and hate it when new faces go to the match.

Utter horrible cunts, hope the new generation of football fan do not turn out bitter and twisted like them.

People that think your opinion is worth more if you go to games...

Pro Evolution Soccer 6.

Something i forgot to add

Fake fans/Glory hunters

I mean here in the arab world,Tottenham (FFS!!) are one of the most supported clubs,Because they have both Mido and Ghaly (one of the main reasons i really don't want any egyptian player to move to NUFC)

Also,Glory Hunters (Mainly Chelsea,Barca fans),who used to be Manchester,Madrid fans like 5 years ago..

Fixed that for you :D

- Players wearing gloves. For feck's sake, haven't they noticed global warming has given us warm winters? 11 degrees and they're wearing gloves. Pathetic.

- Glory hunters. If you're from round my way and I see you or your kids wearing Man United, Chelsea, Liverpool or Arsenal shirts, then your opinion on football is worthless. In fact, you're dead to me.

- Ridiculous 'we're a bigger club than you' arguments, usually promoted on TalkSport to encourage retards to call in. Nowt more snoozemaking.

- G14 - f*** off and form your own league then, maybe domestic football might then cease to be 90 percent meaningless.

- Ridiculous goal celebrations. All that choreographed dancing. Get a grip. Marco Tardelli, Ronnie Radford (sorry, but you know what I mean), that's how to celebrate a goal. Not some ludicrous bogling by the corner flag.

- People who think Sky invented football in 1992 (including Sky themselves). Football has become richer since then, the television coverage is miles better, but the game is incredibly predictable and worse off in many ways.

- Oh, that reminds me. Pissing about with KO times. 5.15 on a Saturday? f*** off.

- Chris Kamara - his stupid thick fat face, air of self importance and delusions of adequacy. Moron.

- Birmingham City FC. Squalid, vile, embarassment to the city of Birmingham, a truly horrible club stuck in the 1980s.

I could go on all night.

The media jizzfest over Thierry Henry and Wayne Rooney.

Commentators/pundits cream themselves if either player scores a simple tap in and cry out for it to be goal of the month or season just because it's them

Nicked my line. Although i was going to label it Jon Motson, not 'the media'. It's always those two with Motson.

Good post, especially points two and three, I do like Kamara though.

My biggest hate is anything that Bolton do, basically. Music after goals, cheerleaders, foam hands, big flag man, any of that s**** and you should be relegated. The Premiership should be made up of real football clubs, not a f****** circus that happens to feature a football match.

My pet hate is the footballing anecdotes that become part of popular mythology and widely accepted despite having little to no basis in reality... For instance "Alan Shearer didn't make it at NUFC as a youngster because he was in goals for the trials" etc

A toss up between:

 1) Peter Beagrie's voice

and

2) keepers grabbing the ball for a few seconds after they've just conceded a penalty - thus preventing the scoring team from restarting the game. (This shouldn't piss me off when I think about it rationally - but it f****** well does) :knuppel2:

Conceding any goal you mean?

Club mascots are s**** aswell, not the bairns leading out the team, but "Sammy the Red" and all that bollocks.

Well - aye! But you see it more after a penalty.

Match of The Day

The way they waste our money having far too many "experts" on the show. Some flown in from abroad at probably a considerable cost. They will be lucky to speak for 5 minutes during the whole programme.

The fact that they can have 3 shows in a day and need a different team doing them each time.

The smugness between Gary and the boys and the feeling that the viewer is being ignored as they "joke" among themselves.

Big Al doing Gazzas "very very verys" very very much of the time, plus " they done well".

Showing the Hereford goal at every opportunity.

Actually kid mascots too annoy me. At the WC especially. Why does there have to be one for each and every player? looks stupid them standing there suring the national anthems, should only be the players.

Club Owners and/or Directors who use their club as their personal fame wagon, line their pockets, run their club in to the ground, disrespect their supporters and who are generally fat b-st-rds who should be run over by their own Jaguar(s).

The twats who play the 'Great Escape' at England games, over and over and over and over.I would pay to see them beaten to pulp with their own instuments

Spurs Fans!

The England band, the silly fat fuckers who take their tops off when following the Toon (you know the 82 stone wankers with so many tattoos they look like a f****** colouring book) AND Phil 'Big nosed t***' Thompson.

I hate that b******.

Alan Green, I'm getting angry just thinking about his nasal whinging and complaining.  :angryfire:

Can't believe the license fee payer is funding that utter nob.

Oh yeah. I forget about Mark Lawrenson too. I can't stand that whiney, whingey prick. I wouldn't get sick of slapping his twisty face. HATE him.

Bolton Wanderers.  Everything about them I just detest.  The music after the goals, the empty seats, the fact that one minute they are a massive club and the next they are small, the boring football they play, that stupid as f*** mascot that does them poses and the crowd chant 'wahey', Jussi Jaaaskeellaaiineen, El Hadji Cuntface, The fat b****** with the flag, Amir Khan apearing at every single f****** match, The fact that they chant a song to the tune of the blaydon races, The twats who sit in the 'singing section', the fact that they have a 'singing section', Fat Sam, Henrik Pedersen playing left back (f*** knows, but it gets right on my tits), the 10,000 fans that turn up for fa cup games, "oh it's on the tele so i won't bother going".

And a few more Bolton based things that I couldn't be arsed to think about.

Also cringe at clubs who have historical things, like when they talked about moving some clock at Arsenal and everybosy raged about it. ITS A f****** CLOCK FFS. Portsmouth being called Pompey, and of course the stupid t*** with the bell. Forest fans who take a blowie up sheep with them to games.

</rant>

Our ballboys being, quite easily, the slowest in the world!

Steve Harper's goal kicks...how long does he need?!  :tickedoff:

Steve Harper taking forever with everything when 52000 people are shouting for him to hoy it to Milner

Lining up to shake hands with the opposition before the match, club mascots, mark laurence lorraine bowen , music after goals, crap music before the match and at half time, brass bands in the fans section, suppa doopa supporters who have bells at every match or dress up in a special way for every match and the camera always looks at them, the supporters who go on soccer am and will no doubt miss their teams match because they are on the show. Fans arriving 20 minutes into a game, fans who are so dense they can't find their seat (upper tier means just that your in the upper tier, not the lower tier and no amount of arguing that I'm in your seat is going to change that), thinks that's all for now.

Oh, and season ticket holders that watch only ten minutes of each half. Why pay £500 to stand at a bar, you pleb?! Of course, these are the *real fans* who know Newcastle United inside out and condemn any opinion, other than their own, as b*ll*cks!

The Nigerian FA

Switching off Tyler and Gray's commentry on Sky to fanzone, then finding out there's two even bigger tossers on that, switching on radio commentry and being amazed again at the sheer twatness of the commentry. You can't escape it.

Except for Spanish football, Rob Palmer, Kevin Keatings, Gerry Francis, Guillem etc.

Commentators Curse. Like last night - "Curtis Davis has done well to stay on his feet" - Que player slipping over instantly.

Also crap clueless commentators that don`t even know their job or facts.
Also when they call Babayaro Ameobi for example just because they are both black.
Also when they are commentating on a CL game and start pronouncing English names in a foreign accent.

cheerleaders - this is not fuckin america!

diving players - i admit c. ronaldo is one of the best players in the world, but i hate him with all of my heart for the diving!

entertaining thread btw!

The way Swedes pronounce Martins. They keep saying "Marrrtinns", as if he was Italian. Of course, I'm not 100% sure it should be Martins, but he's from Nigeria, not Italy FFS!

John Motson skreeeeching "Roooooney" in a high pitched voice everytime he has a shot, regardless of where its heading.

W@nker.

The bling culture which has crept in amongst players and they way they treat money.

Other pet hates

Frank Lampard
Rio Ferdinand
Alex ferguson (comes across as a father figure to young managers, until they disagree with him, re Southgate)

-English commentators cant learn to say Dirk Kuyt right.
-When players keep their collars up.

When commentators refer to players using gamesmanship, when it is a clear case of player cheating. I.e feigning injury or diving

Dirk 'Cowt'?   :icon_biggrin:

works both ways tbf. English commentators are awful at pronoucing foreign players' names too. Some of the name attempts during the World Cup were just cringeworthy

The ones who pronouce Raul as 'Row' deserve shooting.

Commentators that claim a player has fantastic technique when he scores a good goal.  lampard and Rise spring to mind. Doesn't matter that they've hit the corner flag or put the ball into orbit on their last dozen attempts. Funnily enough, the commentator never says their technique is rubbish then.

Players taking the ball to the corner flag to waste time in the latter stages of a game. It should be classified as time-wasting / ungentlemanly conduct and penalised.

That and TV pundits moaning about referees.

definately, its f****** s**** aswell, makes him look like a knob

No...the refs. should implement the obstruction law. Or is that another rule FIFA revoked and I missed it?

Refs/linesmen/the laws stopping players celebrating with their own fans.

Or booking them for it, of course.

Here here. For some reason the obstruction rule gets suspended whenever a defender is blocking an attacker to make sure the ball runs out of play. Often they're nowhere near the ball, but when was the last time you saw a defender penalised for this?

why?

Music

Bells

Drums

Trumpets


f*** OFF

would've lost count the number of times Mr Shearer would've been suspended had that had been put into action

Because the silly fat wankers do nothing to enhance the image of the area, club or fans TBH.

Until it's clamped down on, then all players will do it. But it needs to be addressed especially when teams are doing from about the 85th minute on. Penalise it a few times resulting in late goals and you won't see it as much but there has to be consistency.

Alan Oliver TBH.

just a pissed up laugh tbh, will reply to your PM soon mate

Ok mate. No worries.

that took surprisingly long :D

It's basically pronounced Derk Kout

However the one that really winds up the Dutch is our inability to say Cryuff. It's one syllable.

- Cruiff.

Definately not Cry uff

Things I hate....

Those flags at Bolton (I've only seen them on TV and I hate it...)
The way commentators find diving terrible unless it's an England player
Players mobbing the referee and the referee not sending them all off

Guess english cant say it properly because of it goes like "käit". Dont know how it is typed in english. But in finland we have the letter Ä.

Ooh, spot on. Don't know how I missed it, but i too find that phone-in thing entirely unwatchable due to his droning voice.

Tim Lovejoy.

That really pisses me off as well, i've seen players start sheparding the ball out 18 yards from the touch line blatently obstructing the attacker as it trickles out of play. Its the most obvious example of obstruction you will ever see yet for some reason its accepted and is never given. Yet when player pushes the ball past a defender and runs into him when he has no chance of getting out of the way its always a foul.

used to be a laugh but now he's just a tw@t

The magical invisible yellow card brandished by the likes of Ronaldo and Mourinio.  Should be an automatic booking.  "Oh, you want one of these?  There you go."

keepers holding on to the ball after we score.

Those stupid sky adverts for big matches, usually manu arsenal, where they try and big it up as some sort of war, usually by showing some crunching tackles with some lord of the rings style music playing in the background

couldn't see if anyone else mentioned it but...

DAVID f****** PLEAT

How f****** hard is it to pronounce EVERY f****** players name..jesus h. tapdancing f****** christ david......

Last time i heard him commentate on us...he ever managed to f****** get MARTINS WRONG by saying something like "martaaanz"...HOW f****** HARD IS IT DAVID?

How hard?...goddamn that f****** w******...

Aaaah that's better  :buck2:

Clyde Tildesley and his absolutely endless mentions of "that night in Barcelona"  when commentating on Man United in the CL.

Having to leave the field after injury and wait to be waved back on.

and going to the adverts seconds before kick off is about to start

Haha david pleat!! every game he does starts with "Good evening everybody!" - that's irritating! Also agree with the Oliver/Motson/Tylesley comments

easy easy easy easy easy

rosicky being pronounced rositski

youve never won f*** all...... that actual mean you have won stuff as its a double negative

soccer

Steve 't***' Bennett

Newcastle Cliches being used by commentators

United

Kevin Nolan and his merry bunch of cheats

Fans: Fickle fans, arrogant fans, thick fans, impatient fans, snobby fans.

The game: Cheating, excuses, cliches (I know), money, agents, ticket prices, TV saturation, hype, late and early kick-off times, fixture meddling, injuries, bias, UEFA, FIFA, The FA, the Premier League, s**** games, merchandise, stadium food, stadium beverages, s*** commentators and pundits, atmospheres, new stadiums, some footy kits, goal music, cheerleaders, foam hands, our DJ, Soccer AM, or rather Tim Lovejoy, London, early leavers, latecomers, booing, Mark Lawrenson, female spectators screeching and mobile phone use, stewards, all-seater stadiums, sitting, match day programmes, the Americanisation of the game and crying Geordies.

The "Soccer AM" brigade - The circus that is. Fans that chant "easy, easy, easy" and other moronic lyrics and generally act the clown need to f*** of back to primary school, embarassing.

Cheats - Wankers that dive or go over like they've been clubbed should be banned from the game for a lengthy period, they might think twice then.

Americanisation - Such as playing music after a goal is scored, for fucks sake lads don't call it soccer either...

Ticket Prices - Only so long before the man on the street can't afford a ticket...

Glory Supporters - What's the point? "Yeah, I've supported Chelsea all me life" yeah likely story...

John Motson - What a horribly annoying voice he has, get the f*** off my telly...

Inept Managers - Bloody hell, everybody else can see your getting it wrong and your being paid millions, why bother?

Inept officials - How can 50,000 fans spot a dive and one f****** moron miss it from yards away?

Jeff Winter - How the f*** such a smug w****** can tell others how to do their job when he couldn't do his own is beyond me.

The billionaire invasion - Your ruining the game and have turned the sport we love into a buisness...

Moving kick off time - Four o'clock on a sunday afternoon, they're having a f****** laugh aren't they?

The "prawn sandwhich brigade" - Yes I am singing, swearing and cheering my team on, stop looking at me as if I'm a f****** loon...

Kuyt being pronounced as "Cowt" - It's not difficult, pronounce it right for fucks sake...

Governing Bodies - Inept the lot of them, stop passing the book and sort it out...

Mark "Lawro" - What mind numbingly annoying b****** he is, how does he keep his job?

Wayne Rooney - Swearing at officials, diving, oh and overhyped aswell...

Agents- The game doesn't need horrible bastards such as yourselves, f*** off...

"Grand Slam Sunday" - Such a massive hype for such a boring day of football.

Channel Five commentry team - Man, if was that bad at my job I'd be long gone, timefor a change me thinks...

...and that's just scratching the surface!

Just general cheating pisses me off, stuff like moving the ball on free kicks.

Richard Keys in general, but especially him trying to big up abysmal games:

"Today we've got the big one from the JJB. Wigan v Sheffield United. And when these two go toe to toe, you can expect fireworks!"


 :knuppel2:

Oh, and s*** non physical refs  :tickedoff:

What I hate are the excuses for it, where they make out they have no choice but to support Liverpool or Man U, in spite of being born and living miles away - "I've got family from Manchester", "My Dad supports Liverpool"

So if they lived in Liverpool and their dad was from Hull, would half of these idiots support Hull?  Would they f***. 

I don't mind s**** refs or dubious decisions, in a sport that is over regulated (yellow cards for celebrating a game), a game fast being played and managed by robots, I like the controversy and the whole ups and downs of the game that bad decisions create. As the cliche goes, they really do even themselves out at the end anyway.

Agreed, nothing better than a dodgy decision going your way. That's the game.

Exactly, one day they'll go against you, the next it will be the other team on the wrong end of a bad decision. As you say, that's the game, always has been and always will be regardless. That is why I'm against the overuse of technology. Refs are afterall only human and it isn't as if they are the only ones who make mistakes, players and managers make far more point costing mistakes, and they are paid fortunes where as a referee isn't. Plus, how many times has bad refereeing decisions ignited a lacklustre atmosphere at SJP which has helped the lads to some points?

Commentators pretending that everyone doesn't secretly like seeing footballers kicking off and having girly slappy pushy fights.  "No-one likes to see that in football" Oh come on, before all the players and half the bench started wading in after that tackle no-one in the pub was even watching this s**** 2nd division nowts each draw.

Of course they f****** do want to see it. :lol:

It's the same with streakers and pitch invasions. They get so high and mighty about it in this country, in Europe they zoom in for a good look at the chebs on show!

people insisting on calling players Scotty Parker, Giggsy, Scholesy etc

Was gonna say the Channel 5 UEFA Cup coverage, but the hilarity of their patheticness puts an entertaining swing on Levadia, Ventspils, and no doubt, Zulte-type games.

It's fun making tallies with the Channel 5 commentators, aswell. Like how many times Joe Royle can say 'outstanding' in one game, or how long it'll be before Jon Helm mentions 'James Milner' and 'Leeds' in the same sentence.

Another one: "good feet for a big man"/"people think he can't play but he can". Already heard it tonight...

I love the way the C5 commentators love Peter Ramage, they think he's a good player!

how depressing is this thread :'( My personal pet hates have already been said really. I could relate to Bellars' post especially.

Shattap. ;)

Christ, are Americans responsible for that too?

If the game was truly Americanized (note the zee, err zed) you'd have this crap to deal with:
* Astroturf
* Gridiron lines on the pitch
* More and more cheerleaders
* Shootouts (no draws, ever)
* Golden goals
* Clocks that run down from 90 to zero
* Quarters: as if a break at the half was not enough (More time for commercials!)
* the goalkeeper only substitution rule (don't ask)
* Derision of the game, American fans, and the rest of the planet from the American sports media and other ignoramuses (roughly 70-80% of the population)
* Washed up eurotrash burnouts that wash up on these shores for that final paycheck
* Landon Donovan
* The phrase "emerging power" in reference to the US National squad.
* FIFA rankings
* The Mexican National squad -- love the country and their fans, but the players in the squad are and always have been a bunch of whinny, cheating, losers.

The one thing I do like about the American game is that so far we've avoided the sight of sponsor advertising on club kits. I hate that.

John Barnes on C5 blatantly reading from cue cards on C5's football night (make it sound natural why don't you)

https://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/index.php?topic=35978.msg702780#msg702780 ;)

Songs that last about 10 seconds. Just as the whole of the away section is singing together, loads of people stop, it annoys me as the atmosphere could be so much better.

When playing against part time teams commentators insist on mentioning the blokes job title after his name at every occasion

ie: John Smith - part time post man  etc etc

Coloured football boots - make your players stand out and play worse

The Premier League Theme - Man has not created a word yet to describe the uninspiring filler in before the 'proper' music comes on

'Thunderstruck' - Of all the AC DC songs the DJ picked this one.  Two Words. Sin City.

United - There are around one million teams in the league more entitled to be known as United - and it's not Johnny Come Lately Newton Bloody Heath!

Ten yards - is it really that hard to make a team move back ten yards and actually make them stand there.  WWE referees have more awareness of their surroundings than these jokers.

Good song but always going to sound bad over that $hit PA system

badge kissing

ie: Duff kissing the Chelsea badge  after moving from Blackburn Rovers where he did the same thing previous

I especially hate the ref gesturing "Back.  Come on, move back.  Back to here.  No here, where my arm is.  Back"

(No movement whatsoever from the wall, just a little hopping from foot to foot and sideways glances)

"OK, that's fine. Pweeeep!"

Grow some f****** bollocks!  That also goes for referees who run backwards away from players who are confronting them - They can't knock you out you baldy t***, stand your ground!


Always said that to me it sounds like his sentences are stuck together like commentary on a crap playstation game.  "Here we are at... Millenium Stadium.  We have a thrilling game for you between highbury... and.... merseyside reds

When Americans are accused of making up the word "soccer" when it is British slang for Association Football.

Snobs...

People who repeatedly need a piss during the game and move every ten minutes.
Booing your own players...wankers.
Players who shy out of tackles.

When manager's use the 'we had several key players missing' excuse when the selected team doesn't put on a performance / loses the game.

Mexican Waves, s****.

Arsene Wenger - "I didn't see it"

Repeatedly being called "Noocarsel" usually by the Cockneys. Robert Lee is one of the worst actually and he had about 10 years practice to get it right!  :idiot2:

"Professionals" who should be 23 levels better than 99% of fans who can't hit the target from anywhere near the goal.

"One-footed" players - work on it in training you bastards!!

Good call. You want your players to kiss the badge, but only if they really love it. If Shearer did it when playing for us, then fine or Gerrard for Liverpool, but it'd just be embarrassing seeing Emre do it. Not having a dig at Emre, by the way.

PS. Would love to see Martins kissing the badge in a few years, when he's the best in the world ;)

1. Mark Lawrenson - the most odious man in football.
2. Non - celebrations for goals (smug bastards like Henry piss me off, they don't even look happy when they've scored)
3. 'ushering' the ball out for a goal kick - a lot of the time it is blatantly fouling one player, and anywhere else on the pitch would be obstruction.

Bit off topic, though perhaps not now we have the Gooch, but I hate the way Americans pronounce Newcastle. Always hear it at the Arena when they're shouting the name of the city to get a cheer. Last night it was Rihanna then the Pussycat Dolls doing it. CRINGE.

All the crap clichés...

"Part and parcel of the game..."
"I've held my hands up and said..."
"Flatter to deceive..."
"There or thereabouts..."
"A great piece of skill..." (whoever heard of a crap piece of skill?)
"They've set out their stall..."

et cetera

I know its been mentioned but it has to be the 'EASY EASY EASY EASY' bollocks

i thought it was sort of amusing first time on soccer am but now its f*cking ridiculous at football grounds

i thought it would start to lose popularity and die off, but its STILL going, its an embarassment

YNWA - just does my head in

And players waving imaginary cards to get the opposition player sent off and rolling around in agony like they've been shot by a sniper

When some1 scores a screamer and the keeper doesn't dive
Timewasting
s*** atmosphere
s*** Away Followings e.g. Fulham.
Passionless mercenery players

goal celebrations these days are bloody awful. makes me cringe. someone needs to tell those footballers that they look like reet prats.

Yellow football boots - awful

He's got great feet - obviously - he's a pro footballer!

Mike Parry(Talksport) & his Wayne Rooney love affair

Frank Lampard

Jonathan Pearce and his love affair with Arsenal

David Pleat changing a players name every time he mentions it

Fulhams ground - looks like its made of Lego

All things Tottenham

Music after goals

The constant media hype that surrounds the completely over rated England team - England are NOT world class

JOhn Motson's voice - ohhhhhhhhhhh what do you make of that Mark

The sign on the ground as the players come out at West Ham, that says something stupid like 'welcome to the academy of football' - f**k off your s**t!

Graham Poll thinking he's the main attraction

Dances and prances and poncey little things like that on celebrations can be pulled off if it's quick and subtle. Like Martins against Spurs at home.

God i love that guy.

spitting.

He did that thing for ages when he scored against Juve for inter and the collapsed on the floor. Great celebration :D

Nicky Butt's little backwards dance thing has been celebration of the season, imo.

Anyway:

* Motson
* 'Lawro'
* s*** Lineker gags
* Lineker's false modesty (ALWAYS followed by either Hansen or Motson saying, 'You're being a bit modest there, Gary, you were GEET LUSH' or similar),
* Desperate fans shouting for handball everytime the ball hits an oppo player
* Defenders waving their feckin' hands instead of playing football
* Robbie Savage
* Smarmy refs
* English FA: a load of s***
* Rubbish attempts at authentic pronounciation of foreigners names
* 'Little triangles, 'the hole just behind the front two', 'running from deep'
* Newcastle throw-ins

Lots more besides.

Newcastle throw-ins

Yes,agreed 100 % !!!

This is our nightmare...

General Newcastle set plays tbh.

One thing that annoys me on here is the fact that (to me) Emre puts in as much effort as Parker per game but it only gets recognised by a few.

Everton, Watford, Bolton, Fulham and Arsenal for having such c***ish players, managers and fans. p.s. i especially hate everton and arsenal.

Agree with that on Emre. He really works his socks off all the time.

People, especially commentators, who miss the end of a team's name off when there's two teams with the same name: "We're playing Sheffield at the weekend" "Manchester were all over them". Doesn't tend to be as bad for the Manc teams tbf, but Sheffield really gets my goat, be even worse if I were a Wednesday fan.

I've found women to be particularly bad for this.[/generalisation]

When someone English says 'maybe we're too honest'.

Alan Shearer tends to say it quite often.

Scoreboards with cheesy CG graphics like the ones you get on the screens at bowling alleys - A CGI version of a mascot like "Hamton the Hammer" or whatever running along and scoring a goal and the letters "G-O-A-L!" slamming into position.  In fact, add mascots in big furry suits in general to that as well, so glad we got rid of Mongo and Milly the magpies or wahtever they were called.

And, of course, Detective Inspector Shitcock and PC Fuckwit parking their big f****** riot van right in the bottle neck outside the east stand and causing a massive crush.  Then putting their blue lights on and trying to get out by edging fowards and running over all the people they've trapped.  Nice one twatface, MBE in the New Years honours list for sure.

:lol: Wimen to do that a lot.