End of sesaon review by Archie Brand
By toontastic 08 May 2006
So it's all over for another season.
They'll say that a 1-0 victory over Chelsea's second team isn't so great, but hey,
this wasn't exactly our first eleven either.
No alternative assessment this week. Just a look back.
So what have we seen this season?
Alan Shearer made the ultimate sacrifice. Last season he tried to go out on top,
but that man Souness wouldn't let him. This season he went out on crutches.
Scotty Parker escaped from the Roman Circus and redefined the word commitment. A
considerable feat in the North of England, and I mean the REAL North Of England,
not that bloody shopping centre on the A6 known as manchester.
Michael Owen reminded us what it was like, however briefly, to have a quality
striker on our books.
Shola Ameobi showed first of all that Michael Owen was right, and secondly,
freshly waxed cloggs should not be worn during Premier League fixtures.
Nobby Solano and Lee Clark showed that it IS possible to go back, though not in time.
Jean Alain Boumsong showed us that he wished it WAS possible to back in time.
Emre showed that footballers agents should be seen and not heard. Even in Turkish.
Charles N'Zogbia gave us hope for the future.
Kieron Dyer made us yearn for the past.
Lee Bowyer went from villain to hero.
Craig Bellamy bit off more than he could chew and still came up smelling of roses.
Shay Given went absolutely nowhere, for which Newcastle fans should be eternally
grateful.
Craig Moore went from being the invisible farce to being the immovable force in
just 3 weeks.
Steven Taylor showed maturity beyond his years, then showed us he has a lot to learn.
Peter Rammage showed that passion and effort will edge out elegance and grace any
day.
Titus Bramble showed us many things but he'll be remembered this season for the
thunderous volley that rocketed the team into the Intertoto cup. And far be it
from me to want to change that.
Something I saw that you didin't. My dog Titus leaves the room whenever he sees
Black and White stripes on the box. He knows he's in for some verbal abuse and
just can't understand why.
Graeme Souness proved that throwing money at it is not always the best solution.
In doing this he therefore showed us just how good Mourinho really is.
Glenn Roeder showed us how bad Graeme Souness really was.
After the sacking of Sir Bobby, the appointment of Graeme Souness and his
subsequent sacking, and the ensuing debacle, Freddy Shepperd owes his position as
Chairman to the miraculous recovery crafted by Glenn Roeder. If he ever wants to
be taken seriously in the North East again he must provide the fans with one of
two things.
He needs to either produce the "Manager of the Highest Calibre" that he promised
and pay the money needed to achieve that, or he needs to produce his resignation
and pay the respect that the fans that they deserve.
If this last 2 seasons have shown us anything, it's that our organisation needs a
shake up from the top down.
Give me one player and an injury free season.
Given
Taylor Bramble Moore Rammage
Solano Parker Emre N'Zogbia
V Nistelrooy Owen
Shopping list for the summer.
3 quality strikers with pace
1 midfielder with vision
2 defenders with pace and vision
1 Manager who has actually won something significant and looks like he might do it
again.
1 new chairman who will actually let the Manager do his job.
1 "jobsworth" security team to make sure the old Chairman doesnt get into the
ground again.
1 case of Champagne with a best-before date of May 2007
Archie Brand
Bahrain
What the hell am I going to do for the next 5 weeks?
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