Welcome to Newcastle-Online.com a newcastle United Supporters Fanzine & Discussion ForumToon Ale - Wor Geordies' pride is deep inside
Home This Season Reserves Academy Womens Squad Stadium History Tickets Gallery Downloads Toon Shirts Forum
Google Web Newcastle-Online
Site Features
NUFC Opinion
More Opinions
Columnists
Article Archives
Write For Us
Editorial Policy
Live Scores & Results
NUFC News Archive
Toon Player Ratings
Behind Enemy Lines
The Insiders View
Referee Watch
Readers Mailbag
Away Grounds Guide
Who The F*** Are...
Toon In Verse
Newcastle United Info
Wor City - Newcastle
Geordies
Bring Back The Noise
NUFC Finances
Fanzines & Fan Clubs
Toon Travel
Books/DVD Reviews
Prediction League

Soccertainment

Reader offer: Toon Shirts For £10
Tools
Contact The Author
Contact Me
Visit The Author's Profile Page
My Profile
Write In With Your Own Views
Write In To Us
Discuss This Article In The Forum
Discuss In Forum
E-Mail This Page To A Friend
Mail A Friend
Print This Article
Print Article
Publishing InfoTuesday October 4th 2005
By Kyzer Sosay

Although I have to agree with many of Gaz Pearson's sentiments in his article 'Football, Boring? No Way!' I think there’s a bigger picture to look at. At the end of the day, what Italian’s called football in the 90’s was terrifyingly efficient. They won everything going, their league was the best in the world, they had the players, they had the success and most importantly they had the money.

They didn’t get that success, those players and that money by playing free flowing attractive cavalier football. They did it with turgid soporific faux-football, unbearable for neutral observers, but you try telling the Champions of Europe that they’re dull. I’m sure they’d take that to heart and wipe their tears upon those preposterous ribbons dangling from the handles of their shiny new pot.

It’s taken two successful foreign managers to come to this league and show us exactly how to win things in Europe. You don’t do it by throwing all sheets to the wind, strapping yourself to the mizzen mast and swearing heartily at the storm that doth approach... (Sorry I watched Moby dick last night).

It’s the dull defensive negative unattractive, inbred cousin of football (the one whose wife, mother and sister only needs to buy a single plane ticket, if you know what I mean).

Remember the Champion’s League Final between AC Milan and Juventus? Perhaps the dullest game I’ve ever seen, certainly not the advert for football that ITV and Sky suggest that competition should be.

See fans want success, chairmen want money and Players want medals and Managers want the glory, trouble is success, medals and glory and money come at a price. That price is entertainment. I doubt you’ll hear many Chelsea fans bemoaning the paucity of beautiful football played on the pitch at Stamford Bridge.

Well maybe now, because as we all know soft Southern nancy boys don’t know what real football is about and other such sweeping statements that make me better than them, in football, in arguments, and most importantly, in bed.

By rights, on paper Chelsea should win every game, not because their striker is a world beater (because he isn’t), not because their attacking midfield is world class, but because their defenders are perhaps the most disciplined and talented unit I’ve ever seen. Forget Adams, Dixon et al, the six players who operate in the back line for Chelsea are quite simply an obstacle of Jericho wall-esque proportion!

Terry is phenomenal and the best English centre back around, whoever plays beside him seems to swell with a calm assurance born from utter confidence in their captain. Makelele gets praise for his role in the Mourinho system, but I doubt he gets enough; quite simply he permits the freedom that the attacking players enjoy. Duff, Robben, Wright-Phillips and Cole would each be classed a luxury player in any other team in the country. Most teams can afford, maybe, one of those players and often times they will sacrifice their flamboyant flair winger for tough away fixtures.

So what’s my point? Chelsea don’t have the 1st eleven that propelled Arsenal to an unbeaten season, they have a better team, better tactics and a better squad. Man for man, that Arsenal side was at worst evenly matched with their cockerny brothers. Arsenal played football the way English football fans want to see it, fast paced, slick passing, neat movement and electrifying entertainment.

Anyone remember how easily they were defeated in Europe? Wenger said he needed more time to build a European squad. And while that’s all well and good, their predicted stranglehold on the Premiership was cut short by Chelsea’s dull dull football.

This type of Football exists because it’s the only way to win things in Europe. It didn’t bring Euro-success to Mourinho this season, but it can’t be far off. Last years Champions League Semi-Final and Final can only be described as aberrations, Chelsea have the better team, the better manager, the better tactics, yet Liverpool won.

Milan were in the same boat, yet those bin-dipping scamps stole the Cup from under their very nose. It was the best Final (of any competition) that I’ve seen in years. It was a glorious break from the norm. The dwarven Scouser that I watched the game with was in tears at half time incredulous on 90 minutes and sufficiently annoying at fulltime for me to sleep with his sister… that’s my reasoning and I’m sticking to it, m’lud.

But generally that god awful, defensive faux-football is successful; you can’t lose if you don’t concede.

How long until the drop in attendances prove a big enough omission from the chairmen’s pockets? That time cannot come soon enough; I get that Chelsea “fans” can sit through an hour and a half of utter bilge, because they leave the city in their bejewelled Bentley, quaffing brandy in the back seat while a quail gently wafts its wings over the poor chap’s hands which chafed terribly after all that clapping.

They put up with bilge because it’s winning bilge, records won’t show that they won with a ponder-some bludgeoning of their opponent, records will record a win. How many Newcastle fans would happily whore out the missus to get some silverware in the cabinet, or at least some memento from that day they swung from Greys Monument by their boot straps, hoarse from all the hollering and whooping?

I know I would… but then I haven’t got a missus. But I’d certainly whore out my housemates… or maybe a cousin.

I digress, it’s easy to complain about boring football when you’re vanishing beneath the pile of memorabilia describing your teams success, that you bought from the Kensington outlet of the Liverpool supporters shop (I can only pray to all the Gods that there is actually a little pocket of chav in amongst all that Rah).

Is it the Charlton fans complaining about dull football? No of course it isn’t, possibly because they are so neutered by the crap they watch that they can’t bring themselves to comment. They have watched bad football for years, and while they may occasionally bemoan the lack of stars or skill on Valley Parade they’re generally happy with their lot.

It’s like a 16 year-old that’s managed to sneak into his big brothers party, he’s just glad to be there and would be quite happy if no one noticed him, sometimes there is something pretty for him to look at.

It’s the Media that have brought this argument to the fore, not the fans. Sorry, that should be “it’s the London based media that have brought this argument to the fore, not the fans”.

Newspaper articles, certainly those on the back pages, are there simply to sell newspapers. They rarely, if ever have anything remotely original or insightful to say. (Obviously web based columnists have far more useful things to talk about).

Success cannot satiate fans hunger. Newcastle win the League Cup and the crowd will rejoice for a season or so, then they want to build on that Cup success and win another, maybe the bigger, shinier FA Cup.

Well if we’re able to win domestically; is it not reasonable to presume that success in Europe cannot be far off? So say we win the UEFA cup? Well if we’re making it in Europe our League form should be far far better… so now we need Champions League action, make the quarters or semis surely… and now The Geordies win the League and suddenly we’re off to the races, we need to win the League and entertain at the same time…

Freddy Shepherd, so far, has not jumped on the train to dullsville, but with Chelsea and Bolton proving that teams at both ends of the financial see-saw can achieve relative success by playing dull dull boring ass football; it’s hard to see him permitting anything less than the same from a wealthy side such as ourselves.

I disagree with Gaz. Football is boring, it isn’t what it used to be. English football is no longer the most exciting top flight competition in Europe. It is however the best. We’ve more top class players pound for pound than any other league in the world, even the clubs fighting to keep the necks from the relegation chopping block have players in their side that would be streets ahead of teams in a similar league position in any of the other continental Leagues.

What price success? Entertainment is the price I’m afraid.

Perhaps in a few years of this, with attendances dropping and chairmen nervously eying that yacht they just bought, or when the League is swollen with players attracted to the success and money available to them in England… perhaps in a few years we’ll see clubs returning to a more attractive variety, perhaps in a few years we’ll once again see the return of football to the home of football.

© Kyzer Sosay
Write InWrite In... Did you enjoy this article? Did you disagree/agree with this article? Write in to Newcastle-Online.com and we will publish your views.

*Your Name:
*Your Location:
*Your E-mail:

Message:





Notes: We read all e-mails but cannot promise that we will respond, however all e-mails sent in regarding NUFC related issues, get published on our pages.
Toon Shirts
Newcastle-Online.com Toon Shirts
Sponsors
Contact | Write For Us | About Us | Advertise | Privacy | Newsnow | Copyright | Site Map | We Support | Top
Note: Articles posted on Newcastle-Online.com are copyright of, and are the opinion of, the writer where identified. Opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of other writers, nor of the owners and technical operators of this website. This website or any of it's writers/contributors has no formal connection to or with Newcastle United Football Club. This site is run by fans for fans. All information on this website reflects the understanding of the writer/contributor, and no responsibility is accepted for inaccuracy.