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Albert Luque: Get Me Out Of Here - I'm
A Footballer
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 Monday
02 January 2006
By Howaythetoon
Well, that didn't take very long did it? Albert Luque to become a
target of the boo-boys. 4 starts? Must be a new record in Toon world!
His crime? He's a lazy soft shite, here for the money, he doesn't
care, he hasn't scored yet, he wears gold boots, he's got Alex the
Kid hair, yada yada...
Fuck me, the lad has started just FOUR games, is 6 months into a culture
shock that is a move from Spain to bonny Newcastle and has just come
back from one of the worst type of injuries a professional athlete
could pick up, a grade-one tear to the hamstring.
Yet if you read the papers and listen to some idiots, you'd think
not only was he a carthorse of a footballer, but Hitler himself. Once
again United fans overreact and the media whip up a storm in a teacup,
fueling this hysteria.
I despair I really do. No wonder we are a laughing stock not just
on the terraces but in the media and also behind closed changing room
doors.
This club, these people... as Alan Partridge would say if he was a
Geordie!
I suspect half the idiots having a pop at Luque are using him to escape
from the real cause of our problems, the reason behind players like
Luque looking bewildered and performing in a half arsed fashion.
That cause being our manager, his fucking no-hope tactics and the
idiots around him whose arm throwing, finger wagging and yelling from
the touchlines would look more at home on the dance floor of Ikon,
for all the good it does out on the pitch. Or rather lack of.
Fucking hell, I was born, raised and live within a stones throw away
from St. James' Park and I can't even be arsed with the club at the
moment. I willed the Charlton match to be called off, while I got
a ticket for the Boxing Day Anfield trip for Christmas and I gave
it away to a mate... because I can't be bothered with it all.
That's me, a fan, I'm not surprised Luque is showing signs of "get
me out of here" - he's a fucking footballer.
Perhaps fans ought to question the man who bought the Spaniard in
the first place who now seemingly hasn't a clue what to do with him,
the man who uses that donkey that is Shola Ameobi on the wing in his
place. How about also questioning the club for rushing him back too
early, or for not giving him a run out in the reserves like other
clubs do with returning injured players?
And speaking of the reserves, why do we fucking bother with it? What
benefits do we get from it exactly? I suppose it gives the likes of
Beardsley and Wharton a job like...
Maybe Keegan was right after all...
We don't deserve footballers like Luque at our club, and I feel for
the lad and all those other footballers who have been mugged into
signing for wor lot. Aye, aye, they get paid thousands, so fucking
what! I'm sure Luque would rather be wowing the crowds first and foremost,
whether it be at the Riazor or the Gallowgate End.
That hasn't happened though and I doubt it ever will. Already there
is talk of the No.20 going back to Spain in January. Jesus H Christ,
what's that all about? Do we just give up on players these days? If
they don't smile, look happy or sweat like Vanessa Feltz in the sack,
ship the lazy bastards on, is that the new policy at United?
I want footballers at my club not cloggers. Anyone with half a brain
cell or a Sky Dish and access to La Liga football will tell you Luque
is a super footballer, ideal for this League.
Isn't it ironic that fans are screaming for flair, for Newcastle to
play some football, yet when Luque - that very footballer, signed
to do just that - enters the pitch, they scream for him to tackle,
for him to run his balls into the ground for the shirt.
Fuck the shirt, Scott Parker grafts his balls off for the shirt yet
I'm sure he's as pissed off as any right now. Do you honestly think
players want to go into a match for a fight? To get kicked, to get
dorty? Of course they don't. Parker does all that because he's an
honest lad and all credit to him, but I bet he hates fucking doing
it.
I know I would, but that's what is being asked of our players because
of the mindless team selection and tactics we take on to the pitch.
For Luque, read half the squad. Most of them can't be arsed, man!
Fans can't either, apathy and acceptance of our fate has reached every
corner it would seem.
If Luque is peddled in the January window it will be a travesty for
this club and will set an ugly precedent that will see to it that
no footballer worth their salt would want to touch us with a barge
pole in the future. I don't know about you but a team full of Lee
Clark's does not appeal to me...
I bet the very same people wanting Luque out were the very same people
creaming over his arrival and getting a hard on over fanciful rumours
linking Newcastle with his fellow compatriot, Real Betis winger Joaquin.
If you're reading Joaquin, stay well fucking clear of Newcastle United,
a club fast becoming a graveyard for footballers (Luque, Owen et al),
a holiday camp for wasters (Kluivert, Dyer et al) and a retirement
home for piss poor managers (Souness).
Fans need to accept that not every player is as honest as Scott Parker
or as tough as Alan Shearer. Foreign players, especially, need a good
year to adjust, they need to be understood, helped and fans need to
show patience with these players.
Look at Manchester United, they had exactly the same problems with
Ronaldo as we have had with Luque. Home sickness, a half-arsed attitude
and fitness concerns, but they know how to look after a footballer,
they understand a footballer and as a result, they've stood by Ronaldo
and are now reaping the rewards.
That's because he's worth sticking by, he cost them £12 million
quid, you can't just give up on that kind of investment at the first
sign of bother. Unless you happen to be Newcastle United that is...
Viana anyone?
It pisses me off that we hand a player in Dyer who has done fuck all
for this club, a new deal, yet bomb out the likes of Viana without
even blinking and seem hell bent on repeating this costly exorcise
now with Luque. Will we ever learn?
It's time we took stock of what type of club we want to be, an insular,
myopic Geordie-centric local club for local people and local players
or do we get off the fucking self pitty track, the "they're only
here for the money" type attitude and get with the times. The
hard done by, self wallowing, "aren't we unlucky", "why
does the world hate us" attitude does my fucking head in.
I know when I watch classy sides from Europe playing football and
players like Luque banging in goals past Real Madrid with ease, that
that is the level of football I want to see at the Old Gallowgate,
the quality of footballer I want us to sign. Not a bunch of hard working
no-hopers.
I wouldn't mind but If Newcastle were actually playing good football
and winning matches, players wouldn't need to work their bollocks
off, good or poor players, the ball would do all the work for them.
And there in lies the irony surrounding this complete joke of an issue
regarding Luque.
Put him in an Arsenal or a Liverpool side and he'd tear the League
apart because that's the type of player he is, fast, powerful, tricky
and with a great left-foot. Assets that would dovetail with those
sides' own strengths perfectly.
In a Newcastle side that can't even string two passes together, with
pissy moaning fans overreacting and whinging like fannies whenever
a player frowns or fails to put a tackle in? Ronaldinho himself wouldn't
stand a chance.
If Souness wants "grafters" then why the fuck did he buy
Luque? And if Fans want grafters then don't fucking whinge when your
team play like a pub team made up of brickies and labourers, or expect
foreign talent schooled in football to get their hands dorty, as is
the case today.
That's not their game nor will it ever be and it's certainly not football
either. It's called shit and that's exactly what we are knee-deep
in under Souness and always will be if we give up on genuine footballers
like Luque.
© Howaythetoon
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