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 Tuesday
August 23rd 2005 By Kyzer Sosay Newcastle United are, for me, the reason to tune into TV channels, they are the reason that Saturdays exist. I’ve never been without conversation since I found this down trodden club and while this surprises my mam who regularly states I’ve more patter than a rain drop it is true... I was but a pup of twelve/thirteen and NUFC were already thoroughly tortured. Unsteady and staring impending doom square in the jaw and yet, they did as they always do. Newcastle United survived, and we did it with style. You may have noticed I switched from "they" to "we". I do this intentionally because when I was a lad NUFC were nothing but a distraction, they were a flag to raise and a gang to join… they weren’t the all consuming entity we are now. Newcastle United weren’t yet that faith that helped me through break-ups; they weren’t able to ground me through good times and keep my head in reality when all around seemed to be losing theirs. It was like a Kipling poem manifested into 11 men, an inflated bag of air… and a football. Keegan was the inspiration, his style and flair for football colored my perception, expectations and opinions of how football should be played and more basically - what was unacceptable. Few recall that actually under our cavalier manager in the Premiership, Newcastle averaged 1.03 goals conceded a game compared to 1.16, 1.42, 1.37 and 1.5 under Dalglish, Gullit, Robson and Souness respectively. To put this into context a team whose league fortunes have been similar to our own have averaged 1.02 over the past 12 seasons under 4 different managers - Liverpool. Their defence flits from superb to suspect, just as ours do, yet Mr Moustache merrily slates our back line and falls about himself to continue his good relations with his old club. We conceded fewer goals than his increasingly defensive heirs, this is conveniently swept under the comfortable rug of Southern based media who love to patronise their Northern counterparts with tails of foolhardy attacking football. NUFC have had some true, true greats within the last decade and I, even as a staunch realist will laud our staff. Any club that has been able to parade the undoubted talents of Andy Cole, Peter Beardsley, David Ginola, Phillipe Albert, Robert Lee, Les Ferdinand, Faustino Asprilla, Jon Dahl Tomasson, Alan Shearer, Craig Bellamy, Laurent Robert, Keiron Dyer, Jonathon Woodgate, Shay Given... any club with this roll-call cannot possibly be expected to have, well, low expectations. We’ve had the players, we’ve had the calibre of manager (they all came with a winning pedigree). So why no success? Apparently it’s the defence… we don’t have a bad defence Mr Lawrenson. Over the 12 consecutive seasons in the top flight our two worst defensive seasons happened under sexy-football-Gullit in the 98-99 season and last season (under the “disciplined” Souness). At times our defence was positively stalwart, only forty goals conceded in Robson’s last season. Forty goals in and fifty-two goals out. It's not great, but certainly not bad. In other seasons that kind of production could have lifted us far higher in the league. I think it’s far too harsh to say that Bobby was taking us backwards; I just don’t think he was keeping up with the big boys that is all. Man U, Arsenal and Chelsea, in the same season had conceded/scored ratios of 35/64, 26/73 and 30/67! He had to move on and before people click off, this isn’t yet another “Bobby was hard done by” thing. It’s confusion, it’s pent up frustration. Bobby Robson had turned the world around for Newcastle United; he eventually changed our awful defences under Gullit into something that we shouldn’t be ashamed of. Big Dunc to Dabizas… each of the players that have stretched the black and white stripes cross their chest have been (willingly or not) part of something special, something that we as Geordies take for granted far too often. You see we’re spoilt… not for riches, but for that which silverware and glory can’t bring. We’ve had good football. What I hear you cry, we’ve won nowt, the last honour we lifted was a mere Division 2, sorry Division one, sorry Championship title. How the hell have we seen good football. Well simply because of the cruel tricks that Keegan played upon me, I’ve rated players like Lua-Lua, I’ve lauded the minimum efforts that’s placed Laurent Robert in my top ten list of all-time favourite NUFC players. See, I like it when the ball bobbles free to a full back; he takes a touch then threads it to the winger. That self same man shimmies past his marker like an apparition, then bursts forward and as he does he seems to drag in his wake a trio of young men eager and willing to pop a lung in the search for that joy of forcing a small white orb into the Gallowgate Goal. For they know, they are in NO Doubt that this public will raise them higher than Gods. Nothing fills me with more excitement than that turn of pace that leaves a defender standing upon the balls of his feet, in that fleet footed second you see the realisation that a) he’s beaten, b) his team is going to concede and most gloriously c) 52,000 Geordies were right in their unfeasible dedication to a team that never wins anything. That flick, that pace, that 45 yard strike… this is what I value and while I concede I do not speak for any other foolhardy season ticket holder, I’d wager that they’d all forgo the drudgery that rewarded Everton with Champions League Qualifying disappointment for the pure unadulterated joyful season that preceded our InterToto Cup disappointment under Robson. The Geordies are football fans, none of the men or women who wear the colors can be accused of glory seeking, not one could be said to be after the respect of other football fans. Those that stick by NUFC, those that don’t suffer fools gladly, and those that want the best for the club won’t endure ANY player having too much power. Come in Number9 your time is up. They won’t suffer the Bullish Ego of any manager (Graeme you are acting awful Ruud) and most importantly, they are tired of a Chairman who contributes more to the Sky Sports B-roll than he does to the club. We love this club and there needs to be a change. Top to bottom, head to tail from Board to back-four! My name is Dave Watson, and I’m addicted to something that causes me harm, I’m addicted to Newcastle United, it is my Golden Brown, my secret stash. If all I can do is rail against the mediocrity that threatens this club in message forums and to which ever ear is bendable in a pub, then so be it. But I want the “good times” back, I want the good football. if we can somehow fluke a pot on the way then ace biscuits. If (as is more likely) we take slow and painful steps closer to actual, long lasting glory through white knuckled, edge of the seat football… all the fucking better! Keegan understood this crowd, we don’t want 1-0, we want 3-1. He is the manager that took us closest to glory. Under his reign we had a team capable of great things, and I’m absolutely convinced his method is the only way we will achieve great things. Great strikers, a mobile agile and hostile midfield and defenders who are happier lofting a delicious chip over the head of the Danish version of Gandalf, than tracking back. You ask any man woman or budgie, when were they happiest; Keegan or any that have followed him? Why is it that the two managers who genuinely improved the team and the football were on the receiving end of such poor treatment by the board? Sod all ye who demand a full throated support for manager and the board despite blatant failings. Sod all ye who want think UEFA Cup qualification is a suitable target for a club like ours. Sod all ye who say we should aim realistically, JFK didn’t... and he’s a hero… and he was right... and he got to shag Marilyn Munroe! To coin a phrase ... Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse! © Kyzer Sosay
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