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1st January 2006By Howaythetoon Why the hell do we bother with these foreign types? They're all mercenaries, lazy softshites who can't bear the cold, who prance about in their gloves and their tights, diving and cheating and they don't care about the fans or the club they play for, you know. They are only here for the money. So why do we sign them, what's the point? Take Luque for example, he's been at Newcastle for 6 months now and what has he done? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! He's cost a fortune in wages and medical bills and he hasn't even scored a goal or set up any yet. Why did we sign him? What a waste of money. Biggest ever flop in the history of the club. £10m and no goals? And he's supposed to be a striker... And all that bullshit about settling in, learning the lingo and having to adapt. Did Terry Henry or Bob Pires need time? No, because they have proper names you see, that's why. Has any foreign player ever succeeded at Newcastle? Nobby Solano has done OK like but he's nothing like Maradona like they all said and he's a bit small isn't he? Why did we re-sign him, he's been shite and can't even head the ball. What about that Laurent bloke, all he did was piss and moan. Shearer, in his 30s and with all his injuries, scored more goals than he ever did. Doesn't that tell you something? And that Boumsong, don't get me started on him. What a waste of money he has been. I wouldn't mind but when he signed they said he'd scored a few with that poxy Italian team he was with, so how come he hasn't scored any at Newcastle? Because he doesn't care that's why, he's only here for the money. Greedy bastard. The Premiership was much better without them, I remember when teams like Forest were winning things. Now they don't even exist anymore. That's foreigners for you. They whinged and moaned about being kicked so teams have had to play another way nowadays. Arsenal never used to concede goals with an English defence, now look at them. They are shit. Man Utd, since they signed all those foreigners, they've done nowt. Van Nistelrooy, how many trophies has he won compared to Andy Cole? Why they got rid of him for a complete donkey I'll never know. How many assists does Ronaldo have compared to Beckham? That's because he's lazy, doesn't like getting to the byeline as that takes energy. And what about that Liverpool? Noticed how they have stopped winning Titles? Compare their teams of the past to those over recent years, notice how many foreigners? Two successive foreign managers and still no League Titles. Does that not say anything to you? They've destroyed our game. England haven't won the World Cup in years - that's because of the foreigner in charge. Alf Ramsey, now he was a proper manager. He won the World Cup and he wasn't paid millions, so why can't Sven? Because he doesn't care, he's just in it for the money. You watch, he'll be off soon when a better job becomes available. Bloody mercenary. Back to Newcastle, all those years without a trophy? In 1927 when we won the League, all Brits. Zilch since, a coincidence? I think not. Look at Gullit? What did he achieve? Fuck all. Nearly got us relegated, if it was for Sir Bobby, a true Englishman, we'd have went bust probably. And then there was that Ozzie bloke, he couldn't even speak English and we fucking sent them there in the first place back in the 1700s, they are all criminals anyway those Ozzies. I'm telling you, they've done nowt for our game and Newcastle will never win a thing so long as we have foreigners in the side. Albert, couldn't defend. Kept going up field and thinking he was a striker. I wouldn't mind but he only scored a few goals. That chip, would David Seaman have let that in? That Norwegian 'keeper at Man Utd let that in because he was thinking about flash cars and women, you could tell by looking at his face. Ginola, what the heck did he ever do? Would Stevie Glass have got sent off at Highbury that day? We lost the League Cup through him and that Asprilla cost us the Title, should have kept Kitson. Shearer would have scored a hat-trick at Anfield that night with all those chances and we'd have won the League. Shay wouldn't have let Collymore score either. The game's too soft now. I bet the foreigners whinged about the snow the other night, that's why the game got called off. They played in snow in the old days when there was no foreigners, but not now. Too cold you see. Gloves, they were things women used to get the tatties out of the oven with in my day. While Luque sits on his arse spending our money on big houses, flash cars, women and the casino, Alan Thompson can't get a game in Scotland. A Geordie who would give his all for the cause and graft his balls off. He'd play for nowt that lad. Get him signed Fred. Fucking Faye as well, why's Clarkie not getting a game? We should never have sold O'Brien either, how that lump of wood Boumsong is still here and O'Brien got peddled is sheer madness. OB1, top bloke, still drove his old banger and lived with his parents you know. He was a proper footballer and didn't want what the foreigners were being paid, he was happy just to play. Remember the whack he took in the nose at Old Trafford? Noticed how Boumsong hasn't had his nose broken yet? He doesn't care that's why. Freddy is right to go for a British only manager, we never won anything with that Gulit bloke and the Ozzie, not a sausage. Every success we've ever had has been down to British managers and British players. I say send them all home and lets get back to how we used to be before they all started coming over in the 90s, taking the jobs of British players and managers and destroying our game. No wonder there are empty seats all over the country, bloody foreigners! Alf will be spinning in his grave. © Howaythetoon Disclaimer: This is a piss-take in light of the pathetic flack Luque and other foreign Toon players seem to get from the little Englander brigade.
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Bloody Foriegners: Why Do We Bother?
