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Goal! Out: Now Verdict: Go and see it but don't expect a master piece and don't be surprised if you leave a tad disappointed. Review (September 29th 2005) By James Collins (Aka Taylor27 from the forum) Saturday afternoons are for me traditionally days for me to sit on my backside and follow the fortunes of my beloved club through live television, radio coverage, final score, or even by attending the occasional away match. But on Saturday 24th September 2005, my mind made an executive decision over my heart to blank out the Newcastle Vs Manchester City score all afternoon and instead watch the extended Football First highlights later on in the evening. This executive decision had thus left a void in my routine, and left me facing an afternoon of pure monotonous boredom. The decision was made, the only thing to possibly replace Newcastle United on a Saturday afternoon is Newcastle United. Normally, this would prove to be an impossibility, but that day, things were different. Showing in the cinemas was GOAL!, the first part in a film trilogy about an illegal Mexican immigrant called Santiago Munez who lives in the United States and goes on to prove himself as a top footballer. The first part centers around the start of Munez’s career, as he is plucked from obscurity by a scout and finds himself playing for Newcastle United. So as I sat in the darkened auditorium popcorn in hand, I quivered with excitement, but I also felt apprehensive, as with the exception of Shaolin Soccer, the previous football films have all been consistently poor, while the acting lineup in this one is very much unproven in my eyes. As the film kicked-off, the crowd were encouraged by the start the film makes with a chilling demonstration of the hardships suffered by the poor in the Americas, and the measures they take to try to get a better future. The Munez family dynamics are well done, with Santiago and his father not seeing eye to eye over Santiago’s aspirations, while Santiago’s grandmother just wants to see the best for her grandchildren. Worries start to emerge during the first shots of football action however. It is obvious that the leading actor Kuno Becker cannot play football, meaning that most of the action comprises of shots of a double’s feet intertwined with shots of Becker’s head and shoulders.
Anyway... Despite being a one trick pony, Santiago attracts the attention of a scout who has recently been sacked by Newcastle to make way for the new manager’s regime. The scout is determined to sign Santiago onto a professional team, and persuades Newcastle’s manager to give him a trial. The scout is one of the better and more interesting characters in the film, a Geordie who played for Newcastle at around the same time as Keegan, he has fallen upon hard times on more than one occasion, but his love for the club has helped him pick himself up again. It is mostly through this character that the audience gets any comprehension of the magnitude of the club and the sense of history. Unfortunately he takes a back seat in the second half of the film. A shame as it would have been great to learn more about him and the club’s history in context to what the film is actually about. The local tourist boards will definitely benefit from this film, with some great shots of the local landmarks and the Whitley Bay area. The spirit of the locals are at times well captured. It is obvious that everyone eats, sleeps and breathes Newcastle United, and that the mood of the city is heavily linked to the club's performance. A true portrayal of City life then. The problems facing a modern professional footballer are well captured too – it is obvious that star striker Gavin Harris has too much money and free time than he knows what to do with, and that at night he is surrounded by unsuitable friends, a problem which reflects so many footballers these days, even our own as we all know. At the other end of the spectrum, we see how the less talented players struggle to exist, many becoming bitter in the process, and all live under the knowledge that one bad injury would ruin the rest of their lives. From the first half of the review, one would think that the film was looking decent with good ideas, reasonable realism and a large dollop of spirit thrown in for extra measure. But the film possesses many serious flaws resulting from the tactics of the films management - the script writing is appalling at times, problems include Santiago’s girlfriend (played by Anna Friel looking lovely in a nurses outfit) appearing to forget about Santiago being photographed in bed with four women very easily and without any explanation. And there are many examples of sub plots being started and then not followed through to a satisfactory outcome. Meanwhile, the main plot of the film was average, there was a definite feel-good factor, but most the time I was able to predict what was about to happen. To the script writers credit, they did manage create some funny moments – look out for the explanation of Gavin Harris’ departure from his previous club - a reason a bit close to home. Worryingly however, when the script writers have given characters lines talking about the club and the players, they seemed to have borrowed lines from Freddy Shepherd, Graeme Souness and Alan Oliver’s NUFC PLC propaganda machine - the evening Chronicle. When watching the film, look out for a line from the scout when he explains how other cities have two clubs – it is almost a direct quote from a Souness interview. In a film about a passionate sport, set in the most passionate of football cities in the universe, there needs to be a passionate leader of men. In this film, it should be the job of the manager to fulfil this role. Instead we get the German equivalent of Sven Goran Eriksson. As passionless and distant as Sven Goran Eriksson is portrayed as being in the dressing room, on the training pitch and in the dugout, the manager is an absolute disappointment and this character spoils the film. To make matters worse, the behaviour of the manager and a few of the reserve players creates the impression that Santiago is playing against the club rather than for it. The Newcastle football action is as bland and boring as it was at the start. In fact it is worse as all the goals and main sequences are done at the fastest speed possible to hide the appalling body doubles. This totally took away any enjoyment of the football. The film definitely needed more shots of the actors and the real life players together both training and on the pitch. They could have at least done some celebrations together. Instead we get a really scary and very fat Titus Bramble body double screaming a lot when we scored. In case anyone is interested, the fixtures shown were Chelsea home, Fulham away and Liverpool home. There are many other flaws throughout the film including players signing for us with three league fixtures to go, and Newcastle appearing to field five strikers at the same time and these little things just got at me and reduced my enjoyment. As for the acting, the cast were like a team of Amdy Faye’s, do a job, but aren’t of the highest quality and won’t win matches and although the acting was not bad enough to prevent any enjoyment of the film, there are no acting performances that will increase enjoyment, or win any awards. The majority of cameos from individuals from the footballing world were quite entertaining. Speaking cameos were given to Alan Shearer, David Beckham, Zinedine Zidane, Raul, Rob Lee and Martin Tyler, while Kieron Dyer, Lee Bowyer, Jermaine Jenas, Titus Bramble and Shepherd himself had to do some non-speaking acting (although for some reason Shepherd was missing from Gavin Harris’ press conference, replaced by a skinnier body double). Most players at the club appeared on screen at some point. Overall, despite some good moments, when I left the cinema, I felt really empty. It felt just like a one-nil defeat, with Newcastle let down by some sloppy work and then just failing to get going. Summary: Representation of the club – Mostly good, but it seems at times like Santiago is playing against us – 8/10 Acting: Like Amdy Faye, does a job, but won’t win matches – 5/10 Script: Feel-good central story a bit predictable, and subplots confusing and unsatisfactorily resolved – 3/10 Fun Factor: Boring story, bland footballing action, a couple of funny moments and some fun cameos – 4/10 Characterisation: Good lead, well supported by his family and the scout, but let down by a passionless manager and a weak girlfriend – 5/10. Overall: Disappointing– 4/10 A big thank you to James for his review. Much appreciated. |
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