YO-YO Up The League We Go
Sunderland AFC In Name Change Shock
April
6th 2005
SUNDERLAND ENGLAND (Reuters) - Sunderland Football Club have today
announced that they are to change the name of the club in a rebranding
initiative designed to bring back the 20,000 plus deserters who have
become disillusioned with their club.
Club Chairman Berb Murray, dismayed at his side's shocking attendance
figures also wants to appeal to the younger element of the club's
fans - known locally as Charva Scum - so he and his board of directors
have hired PR firm, Lets All Laugh At Sunderland LTD, based in Newcastle,
to come up with a snazzy name and a new club badge.
Sunderland AFC will now be known as YO-YO FC which will officially
come into effect for season 2005-06.
Murray commenting on the new design said: "We have felt for a long
time that the image of SAFC has been one of booze, fags and slags
and we wanted to change that to a more hip and trendy one to fit in
with our future plans.
He went on to add: "We are delighted with the new design which
fits in perfectly with our plans and the new name will come to symbolize
our club for years to come."
Lets All Laugh At Sunderland LTD were equally pleased with their work,
chief Designer Proud Geordie was keen to stress the correlation between
the design and what the club represents.
"We chose
gray to match the City of Sunderland and YO-YO is a name we feel fits
the club and it's aspirations down to a T", he said.
Sunderland of course are on the verge of winning promotion back to
the Premier League having dropped out of the top-flight as the worst
ever Premiership side of all-time, breaking the previous record, which
they also held in 1996.
It will be YO-YO all the way for the Wearsiders, then.
Make Your Bloody Minds Up, Then!
A statement from the League Managers Association, released
today:
"Certain sections
of the media have reported that Newcastle United have reached
a financial settlement with Sir Bobby following his departure
from the club on 30th August 2004.
"This is not the case.
"The Managers Association Tribunal has the matter set down for
a hearing in the very near future."
Shepherd: Dyer Has Had Enough Punishment
United Chairman Freddy Shepherd has revealed that Kieron Dyer
will not be fined for his part in the fiasco of Saturday, insisting
the No.8 has suffered enough...
Shepherd said:
"We will not be fining Kieron
Dyer or taking any further action against him.
"We have said right from the start that Dyer was the innocent
party and we have not changed our minds.
"The buck stops with me on this one and I am sticking to my
guns. We feel that Dyer has been punished enough by his red
card and three-match ban, and that is the end of the matter
as far as we are concerned.
"The FA have their own views and we have ours. Unfortunately,
we cannot appeal against their decision or we would have done
so because we feel that Dyer's ban is harsh."
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