4th February 2005
By
Jody Jamieson
"Football is not about life and death. It's more important than that."
Wise words indeed from Mr Shankly. We all know that football isn't
a matter of life and death, as over the past few years tragic mass
loss of life such as the Asia Tsunami, 9/11 and The George Dubya bloodbath
otherwise known as the War on Terror have proved. But why do we all
take it so seriously. I for one sometimes sit back and think about
how ridiculous it is. All it takes is Alan Shearer to kick some round
ball into a big square net and all of a sudden I'm jumping around
like a demented kangaroo. What is it about football that does this
to us? God only knows, but I like it.
I was in Motherwell in 1997 for a few days for some reason (I'm an
International Jet setter after all) and I went to watch Will Smith
trying to nuke some bastard aliens at the cinema. Men In Black was
the new Box Office phenomenon and we decided to head off to the cinema
and see what all the fuss was about. The film was good, but something
else about that particular visit to the pictures struck me and got
the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
I'm sure it's not only me who sits there grumbling that the film should
have started 10 minutes earlier, pissed off that I'll have finished
off my popcorn before the bloody film has even started (I swear the
adverts are more to do with popcorn and juice sales rather than anything
else) while they trawl through endless pointless bloody adverts. Whether
it be go to your local Megabowl or go and buy a car off Arnold Clark,
it can drive you fucking nuts. You'll occasionally get the odd TV
ad, but normally the pish ones - "Papa!" "Nicole!" - but then that
Yorkshire ruffian Sean Bean appeared with Strings for Yasmin belting
out in the background and for the next 90 seconds I realised why I'd
spent money coming to the cinema that day. Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones
and those bastard aliens could have buggered off as far as I was concerned.
I'd got my moneys worth.
That TV advert in 1997 said so much about why we are football fans,
and summed up in 90 seconds what it's all about. Tribalism. All the
emotions in the world, often experienced all at the same time. The
sheer drama and theatre of it. Everything was packed into that advert
that showed why the beautiful game was our game. Bloody perfect. Every
football fan could have related to that advert, and even people who
weren't football fans must have thought: 'I better check out that
soccer lark...'
Our game is a worldwide phenomenon. In some cases it can really be
war, with some derbies, and some huge games causing carnage among
the people. Everyone has probably heard of the war being declared
after Honduras and El Salvador had a tasty 90 minutes on the park,
but unsavoury incidents apart, football brings people together like
probably no other movement in the world. Even in everyday life football
can bring people together. On my recent trip to Leicester I ended
up sitting down on the train having a hell of a conversation with
an Oxford United and a Partick Thistle fan. I'll probably see neither
of those guys ever again but my long boring train ride became a very
interesting pleasant train ride, all because some strangers shared
my passion. Bizarre, eh?
How many people reading this have been abroad for a football match?
I'll bet most of you met some interesting locals and had experiences
you'll never forget, all in the name of football. How many of us would
have even considered going to whatever town or city Hapoel Bnei Sakhnin
ply their trade in if it hadn't been for the fact that 11 of our boys
were away to kick a football around there? Or Valerenga in February?
Can't say I'd fancy Norway at that time of year. Have a piss and you
need to snap it off! But the lads played there, so over 1,000 hardly
Geordie souls made the pilgrimage.
It's amazing to think what we'll all do in the name of football. I've
never been to the World Cup (partly to do with the fact I can't afford
it, but mostly to do with the fact that Scotland are shite) but my
Uncle went in 1998, and I'm still hearing new stories from him about
it that he'd forgotten, 6 and a half years later! Must have been a
pretty special few weeks to have forgotten some of the things he did!
France was taken over by Scotland. England, Brazil, Italy. All 31
nations who qualified - can't exactly include France here - invaded
France and had a carnival. A carnival that is repeated every 2 years
for the World Cup and for the European Championships. Does anywhere
else in the world offer such a cultural diversity in one place? Belgium
and Holland in 2000. Japan and Korea in 2002, and Portugal in 2004
all hosted a party, and the world was invited. And the world enjoyed
it!! Surely even the Olympics can't do what the World Cup does.
There is so much about football that makes little sense. The money
we spend. The emotions we let ourselves go through. The countries
we end up in. The songs we sing. Everything about it when you dress
it down makes very little sense. But we'll carry on regardless in
the name of our religion.
Tribalism is taken whatever way you dress it up. There's those who
take tribalism in the sense that you drink 10 pints, snort a line
of cocaine, dust the knuckles down, and go and punch shite out of
someone. Those people can be ignored, but for those of us who embrace
tribalism in the way it was meant to be embraced, is there any better
feeling than descending on someone else's town with three or four
thousand like minded souls to drink beer, fall down, and sing for
your team for 90 minutes? Some of the greatest days of my life have
been at away games. Some even when my team has played fucking terrible.
Away days are about enjoying yourself and doing your team proud for
the day come rain or shine, win or lose, beer or alcopop.
I think those football fans who support Manchester United for example
and never go to Old Trafford because Bradford or Torquay or Cork are
too far away are really making themselves miss out on what football
is all about. Even though these people bring it on themselves, I kinda
feel sorry for those who've decided that sitting in their armchair
making insightful comments about football (definition - making the
comments Sky Sports told them to make) just don't get what football
is to those of us who've been far and wide, and even to Merseyside.
These people also have no concept of what success means. Last time
Newcastle won something I was a twinkle in no-one's eyes, and yet
I have more concept of success than these people.
Where's the glory in deciding to support a team after seeing the league
table on Sky and deciding; 'They're top. I like them?' Fair play to
those Manchester United fans who stuck with them when they weren't
the all conquering side. Those fans as far as I'm concerned can have
the success, as they deserve it just as much as we ever would. But
I know fine well that if we ever win a trophy, I'll not be the only
one who makes sure I suck up every ounce of the moment and enjoy it
as much as possible. For those glory supporters it'll probably be
a wry smile and then that's it.
Losing is just as important to fans as winning. Having shite times
make you appreciate the good times a hell of a lot more. You can see
it in our support. Those who were there when we were struggling in
the second division are far from happy with what is going on at the
club right now, but they're complaining about it far far far less
than the Keeganites. Those who started supporting us when it was fashionable.
I know who'll appreciate it more when (or perhaps if - Shouldn't assume
with Newcastle United) we win something.
The whole emotional attachment to the club is what sets it apart.
Whether you were a season ticket holder underneath the scoreboard
getting pissed on while watching some terrible terrible dross, or
you first heard of Newcastle United when we broke the transfer record
to bring Alan Shearer home, we all have out emotional attachment in
different ways. For some it's a hobby. Something to take a passing
interest in. For others it's life. For some it's a chance to get away
from the wife or the family. For others it's the weekly (or twice
weekly depending on the fixture list) pilgrimage to watch their passion
play out before them. For some Shearer will rattle the ball in from
30 yards and they'll clap. For others Shearer's 30 yard corker hitting
the back of the net will be one of those moments you tell the grand
kids about while trying to brainwash them with black and white kiddie
shirts and stories of Phillippe Albert's chip.
Whatever it means to you there's always one guarantee. Constant. People
at our football club will come and go, but we'll always stay. We could
be sitting watching Newcastle in the 2nd Division in 10 years, or
we could be about to try and retain our Champions League crown, but
whatever happens we'll always be there, emptying our wallets and shouting
expletives in the name of football.
It's ecstasy, anguish, joy and despair. It's theatre, art, war and
love. It's a feeling that can't be explained but we spend our lives
explaining it. It's our religion. We do not apologise for it. We do
not deny it.
Football. I know how you feel.
We all feel the same. |
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