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Accepting Mid Table Mediocrity


8th July 2005

By Jody Jamieson

I am not going to sit here and deny that Craig Bellamy was a pain in the rear. But I am going to sit here and make a point along the lines of the fact that him being a pain in the jacksie made him so important, and why football fans are hypocrites. But that shall come later, for now I'm going to focus on the fact that we've been stupid, egotistical, and blatantly just Newcastle United all over again.

Craig Bellamy was hard work. We all know that. But he was special. Most of the special players were hardly a walk in the park to work with were they? George Best was a pisshead, Diego Maradona was a nutcase, and Eric Cantona was just Eric Cantona. While I'm not going to even try and claim that Bellamy is as good as those players were, he was our version of these players if you like. The Nufc Cantona. A genius who could turn a game completely out of nothing, who was just totally totally nuts.

But the poser I have for those delighted that we've sold Bellamy. Would Eric Cantona be the same player if he wasn't a loose cannon with too much fire in his belly?

Would he hell.

I would love the fans who are glad to see Bellamy leave, see what a docile, passionless Bellamy would have been like. He probably would never have played in the Premiership. Bellamy is very talented, but it's his incredible will to win that made him almost indispensable to our team. And don't kid yourselves for a minute, Bellamy WAS indispensable. Who in our current squad can give us the edge Bellamy did? Ameobi? Don't make me laugh.

But at the end of the day it is of course more important to take the moral high ground and "do the right thing" these days. Who cares that Arsene Wenger was clever enough to see that burying the hatchet with Jens Lehmann made Arsenal a better team. His reward? Lehmann single handedly wins the FA Cup final. But who wants to win the FA Cup when we can do the right thing, get pumped in the semi final, and finish 14th!! That's a moral victory for us. Newcastle 1 Arsenal 0. They did the wrong thing and profited. Burn Arsenal Burn!!

Arsene Wenger was honest enough to admit their team was shaky with Almunia in goal, buried the hatchet, and made sure that his side was better. Almunia is their Ameobi as far as I'm concerned. We decide to go with the donkey though and sell Bellamy to one of our rivals (let's not kid ourselves anymore, we're mid table) while also loaning a genius (admittedly only on his day) to another rival. With Laurent Robert on form, and Alan Shearer being supported by Craig Bellamy, we weren't a million miles from the finished article.

Instead though we've decided that it's better to go backwards. Stuff the Champions League, I think we'll have lost all interest in the season by February thank you very much! To think that most wouldn't have sold Bellamy for less than £10 million before this incident. But of course this is football. You say something stupid and suddenly you are an average footballer.

Which is what pisses me off about football supporters. They fail to see the bigger picture sometimes. My favourite thing ever is the do-gooder brigade who think that by speaking you're mind and taking the "la-la-la I'm not listening" approach to following your football team is the only way. I'll sit here and say all kinds of things about the club, but do you think I behave like that at the game? Hell no, I sing the songs, I'll support the players I hate and wish them to become more than average.

But in the eyes of some that is a foolish way to be. I'm obviously not a real fan because I don't pretend that everything is great right now. Here is the 10-point plan to being a Newcastle United supporter. Please follow or you will be banished to the armchair forever.

1. Love Shepherd unconditionally.
2. Love Souness unconditionally.
3. Love Shearer unconditionally.
4. Hate Bellamy unconditionally.
5. Hate Robert unconditionally.
6. Pretend that Ameobi is the long term replacement to Shearer.
7. Be happy that we're linked with such superstars such as Viduka, Emerton, Lucas Neill etc.
8. Decide that Robbie Elliot deserves his contract because he tries really hard.
9. Pretend that Nicky Butt cares about the club.
10. Pretend that players who are looking like not being interested in signing for us are not good enough, but when there's a sudden U-turn and their transfer is back on again that they are the best thing since sliced bread.

And there you go, you're a proper fan. A real fan deserving of owning a season ticket to watch the football club where trying hard is 1,000,000 times more important than actually being a good player, where a player is suddenly crap because he says something that's not very nice, and where Tony Caig gets another contract despite not being good enough to play for Hibs when we bought him.

To say I'm fed up is an understatement. We beg, kick, scream and hold onto Shearer's like children till he decides to play on. Rejoice at that fact he's staying, then watch and pretend everything is ok when we sell anybody who might actually be able to create chances for him. Shearer is still a good player, but like any good player, he needs service. Who's going to provide the service for him? You couldn't get a sheet of paper under Ameobi when he jumps for a header, and we're selling off any player who can actually put in a cross more often than not.

But hell life is rosy, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a parasite.

I know some may be offended by this, but it's not all the time that people are actually willing to say what they think. Too many rate being looked upon as a loyal, non-complaining superfan above their actual real opinion. If I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times. People can agree, and people can disagree with what I say, but at least try and understand where I'm coming from.

Where am I coming from right now? I'm coming from a frustrated point of view where if it wasn't for the honeymoon period when Souness took over and we actually went on a run, we could have been slightly nervous going into the last few games, and we're doing our best to make it even more nervous for next season.

I want Souness out. I'll tolerate Shepherd because he's kept us on a solid financial footing. I just think he should appoint a Director of Football (and I'm generally against this), as I believe the entire football side of the club needs a reshuffle. Stuff the business side, as I think we could do a hell of a lot worse. The disdain for the fans aside, the club is run fairly well when we talk about making money. The problem is that there seems to be a cancer running through the football side of the club.

No-one seems to have any idea how to take the club forward. One of the things I love about this time of year is the mindless optimism that no matter how bad it was last year, there are generally signs that things might get better.

Does anyone believe it this year however? An incredible few weeks in the transfer market apart (and who really sees that happening?) then there's very little to be optimistic about. 14th wasn't a false position last year, and things may get a lot worse before they get better. I hope to god I'm wrong, but I just can't see us improving to a level of actually being pleased with our 2005/2006 campaign. We're looking too much like mediocrity is not only expected, but has already been accepted.

Good luck boys. You're going to need it.
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