Newcastle-Online comment: 19th June 2004
The last money signing that we bought from a Premiership team was
Woodgate, before him it was Andy O'Brien if I remember correctly and
to me that sounds crazy for a club like Newcastle and I believe it's
like that in the whole Premiership. Barring Chelsea there isn't much
trading going on among the other clubs that feature so maybe it's
about time we bucked our recent trend and started looking at those
who could do a job from our Premiership rivals, realistically of course.
In alphabetical order:
Arsenal - Silvain
Wiltord. He can play right midfield, up front and has bags of experience
and pace. Team player and on a free transfer. Would be an improvement
on Ambrose and Dyer on the right.
Aston Villa
- Mark Delaney. Solid right-back in the mould of Hughes but
slightly better defensively. Not what we are really hoping for but
we do need strength in depth at right-back and he could be plan D
if A, B and C doesn't come off. We've been linked before.
Birmingham - Lilly Savage. I know he's a twat but
he's a good player and Steve "I'm a Geordie you know" Bruce wouldn't
be able to stop him moving if a club like Newcastle come in for him
and he knows it. A rash on the opposition, fine passer, works like
a dog and is good for a few goals. Underrated IMO and he could do
a job for the Toon. Ideally we should be aiming higher but we are
not in the position to attract the top-class players, not so easily
and without competition anyway.
Blackburn -
Matt Jansen. He can play in various positions such as left flank,
just off the main striker or as an attacking midfielder. Very clever
and a local lad who hasn't had the best of time with injuries. Blackburn
would listen to offers. Could be a decent back up to Robert incase
the Frenchman gets injured and can give us further attacking options
if needed that we currently don't have.
Bolton
- Ivan Campo. No this is not a joke. Again if a club like
Newcastle come in for him Bolton nor he could turn us down. He is
a twat too but like Savage he's a good player. You don't get to win
a Champions League with Real Madrid unless you have some ability,
floppy haired Scouse piece of bacon excluded (fluke). Anyway he can
play in central defence or as the holding midfielder, vastly experienced,
a little bit nasty and very good on the ball with a decent passing
range. Great in the air too. He could do a job.
Charlton
- Paul Konchesky. We need cover at left back and Konchesky
could do that job as well as allowing Bernard to move to the left
wing if Robert was injured or suspended. Not the greatest in the world
but great players don't sit on benches, outside of Kensington anyway.
Good left foot, has a bit of pace and gets stuck in, a younger, fitter,
left-footed Andy Griffin if you like, but not as hard. He would jump
at the chance if we went in for him and we've been linked before.
Chelsea - Take your pick. We could
do well from them and we could use Bobby's friendship with Mourinho
in many ways. Mario Melchiot, Scott Parker and Glen Johnson could
all be surplus to requirements or get itchy feet at having to sit
on the bench all the time. Anyone of them would strengthen our first-team
and we do not have to buy, we could use the loan system. Out of them
all however Gudjohnsen would be my choice who we could get if we showed
a bit of ambition. Great player who would add creativity and a touch
of class to our forward line. With Deco admitting he will be having
a medical after Euro 2004 and with £17m Mutu in the ranks, Gudjohnsen
has one hell of a fight to get into Chelsea's team and I don't think
there will be much competition from the other top 3 so we could have
a good chance to sign him if we went in. I'd prefer him over Mido
or any other realistic striker.
Crystal Palace
- Dowie as kick up the arse man and crowd motivator. Other
than that, nobody.
Everton - Rooney...I
wish. Graveson. He hasn't stood out for me as someone who could improve
us vastly but I've been impressed with him in Euro 2004 (aye just
that one game) and he is a good player, but inconsistent for Everton
I hear. Apparently he is available on a free and that's like pies
to the boy wonder where the Toon are concerned. If we have run out
of options it can't hurt to look, you never know.
Fulham
- Malbranque. He would be my number one summer signing if
I was manager but to buy him would take some serious ambition and
balls to go in and force Fulham into selling. Can't see it happening
but one can dream. If not him I'd take their left-back Volz who would
be good cover for Bernard, excellent crosser of the ball and a strong
dependable defender.
Liverpool - Hamman,
aye he's a twat as well for his alleged remarks but he's a great player
and I hear he is unhappy at Liverpool and has already stated he would
move to another Premiership team. Whether he'd come back to the Toon
I don't know but as Forrest Gump once said, life is like a box of
milk tray. Other than him I'd buy Diouf to give us a laugh in the
stands - god knows we'll need it if Bramble and Co. continue to search
for the ball boys up in the Sir John Hall Level 7.
Man
City - Not many stand out except SWP but I haven't seen enough
of him to make a proper judgment and even then he would cost a bomb
because he's young and English. Nah not for me. Nobody.
Man Utd - Ole Gunnar whats his name. Apparently he
is to be released by the slapped arse and for me he would make a great
signing. Scores goals, works hard, links up play great and even though
he's a striker he would be our best right winger because that's where
I'd play him. Nicky Butt is the usual name, but he's not the player
he was at the World Cup and he's no better than what we have.
Anti-Green Peace FC - Southgate would make
an excellent signing but with UEFA Cup football I can't see him wanting
to cross the smog to Tyneside when we can only offer him the same
thing. Mendieta would be another. Creative, hard working, scores goals
and can play on the right or in the middle. I'd use him on the right.
Would he come to Newcastle? I don't know but players like him need
those big crowds and clean air.
Norwich -
Darren Huckle...oh, been there, nobody.
Portsmouth
- Matt Taylor in exchange for Lua Lua, see Konchesky.
Southampton - Strachan to do the press conferences,
that way only the reporters will be called muppets. Fabrice Fernandes
to challenge Robert on the wing. Tricky, pacey little pocket sized
bundle of trouble for any left back.
Spurs -
After they have bought the whole French team and every world-class
Dutch, Brazilian and British player we could have rich pickings. Shame
they don't have any good players and the ones that they do have are
more injury prone than Darren Anderton. Nobody.
West Brom - Lee Hughes to act as a shaperone for
those pesky toe-rags who like a night on the hoy, we'd have to confiscate
his driving licence mind. Nobody. |
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